I Still See You
by ChristmasonPancakes
Summary: After killing his former love, Damon is lost, gone. No one reaches out to him because they don't understand him. Except for one girl. She tries to find him in his darkest hour, and tries to bring him back to the person he used to be. Post-season finale.
1. Forgive me for loving you first

I Still See You.

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

Elena's car pulled up to the old Salvatore boarding house, and when she finally parked, she refused to leave the car.

Due to the catastrophic events in Mystic Falls, and the number of deaths from people in founding families, Stefan had allowed the town to keep the old Salvatore mansion for historic reasons. Elena asked why it wasn't _Damon's _house to give, seeing as he was the oldest. The reply was Stefan saying that the will was made to give Stefan the house and it's belongings, not Damon.

Elena felt a pang of sympathy for Damon, he must have not had a good relationship with his father whatsoever if even _Guiseppe _ignored customs to give the house to Stefan.

But Damon didn't seem to mind. Stefan had talked to him briefly about it, but Damon just downed his Bourbon and nodded, only speaking when he had to say he needed a refill.

The house was to be searched through tomorrow, and Stefan asked Elena to accompany him while he searches through their old belongings to get rid of potential evidence against them being vampires. Elena then said that Stefan should keep his old stuff, rather than give it away, and Stefan agreed.

Stefan said he would probably need boxes, and when she arrived to bring the boxes inside the house, but she sat numbly in the seat, still subconsciously refusing to leave the car.

Instead, she pulled out her cell phone reading Stefan's last text for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day.

_Be careful with Damon, he's on edge. Just come inside and go straight to my room, he doesn't want to be bothered. I love you._

Elena felt great discomfort reading the message, it seemed to be filled with hidden meanings and emotions. _"He doesn't want to be bothered"_? Why on earth would Elena bother him? Was he _often _bothered by her very presence?

Now Elena was just acting proposterous, why would it bother _her_ if she bothered _him_?

_It doesn't, _Elena internally scolded herself, _it does not bother me at all._

She felt a tear silently cascade down her cheek, remembering the state Damon was in the last time she tried to comfort him. She closed her eyes and fell into her memories, submerging herself in the moment.

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

_Katherine was closing in on her, but this time, there was no one there to save her. No Stefan, no Alaric, no Damon._

_ No Damon._

_ Katherine's abilities surpassed just intensified human skills, such as speed and agility, she could also sense the aura that a mind was echoing as long as they were a reasonable distance away._

_ Katherine smirked at Elena's thoughts, and then it turned into an angelic, bitter laughter. She was mocking her._

_ "You know," Katherine began, "Although Stefan was my favorite, I truly don't see why he's yours..."_

_ Elena looked up, puzzled as to why she would believe that, Stefan was her boyfriend, after all, but she allowed Katherine to continue speaking._

_ "I mean, Damon did try to kiss you..." Katherine giggled deviously, "Oh, 'You decided I was worth saving' and yadda yadda yadda" Katherine spoke feircely, while still managing to mock Damon._

_ Damn, this girl was a walking contradiction. Innocent, but deadly. _

_ Elena still sat in utter confusion, when did Damon say this to her?_

_ "Oh, dear Elena, I see you are a tad confused," Katherine continued, reading her aura, "After the founders events, Damon went to your brother when he was still human, and then went outside to show you... I mean, me, his humanity" she said the last word, dripping with venom laced underneath, "He thought that _I _was _you. _How proposterous!" Katherine giggled more, the giggle was harsh and cruel and insulting._

_ Elena flinched as Katherine flashed her fangs, her eyes turning a sickening red._

_ "Elena..." Katherine walked slowly around her, a predator observing its prey, "I know that he feels for you... Do you feel for him?" she asked curiosly. She came to a sudden stop when Elena jutted her chin up defiantly and refused to answer the question._

_ Katherine, moving impossibly fast, came in front of her and gave a sickeningly sweet smile, "don't worry," She breathed across Elena's neck, studying it, "I won't tell anyone... I am a very good secret keeper" _

_ Elena looked up at her, but flinched at how rapidly she moved her neck. After Katherine nearly draining her dry, she still managed to forget that she should _not _move her head. The bite mark ached throughout her entire body._

_ Katherine then drawled, "I'm losing my patience, dear, now tell me," She swiftly moved her delicate hand to Elena's neck, and slammed her head against a tree with full force, digging her sharp nails into Elena's flesh, and bite mark, causing more blood to ooze out of it._

_ Elena gasped a broken sob, and Katherine released, saying, "I don't want you dead yet, I just want to know... now," Katherine moved a stray hair from Elena's face with gentle fingers, menacingly caressing her cheek. _

_ Why did Elena feel as though the movement was so familiar? 'Stefan' she thought internally, 'Stefan most likely has touched my face like that before... why can't I remember if he did?'_

_ "Elena! I am done with the waiting game, seeing as I need your answer now, before I kill you," Katherine said in a deadly, gentle voice, "you see, if you _did _care for Damon, I would get to tell him and my Stefan, and they would both be heartbroken!" she clapped her hands together in excitement, "then Stefan's trust would return to me, I would have him, and poor, sweet Damon would be crushed... would be devastated at the loss of you!" the smile returned to her face, "And if you _don't..._ then I would tell Stefan, he would... well he wouldn't terribly mind, and then tell Damon... that would get him Elena" she leaned in close as if she was telling Elena a terribly naughty secret, "because you are the only reason Damon is in pain... he loves you, Elena, and no matter what, you will cause him tremendous pain at your death... and seeing as all I truly want is Stefan, why not cause even _more _pain than necessary!" Katherine squealed giddilly._

_ Elena looked up at Katherine, the tears falling down her face rapidly, and essentially stinging her bruised and cut neck._

_ "Stefan will never be yours," Elena choked out, "he will never love you"_

_ Katherine gave a light 'tsk tsk' sound and giggled, "I don't surrender easily. One day, after your loss, he will give up trying to resist me, and will be with me forever more!"_

_ Elena swallowed the bile rising in her throat, she didn't like talking about the days after her death... her death... the words continued spinning in her head, and she felt the nausea come._

_ "Now I need my answer, Elena. Do you feel for Damon, or do you not?" _

_ Elena did not want to betray Stefans trust, she loved him and cherished him... but Damon... if Katherine wasn't just manipulating her, could what she said about Damon's feelings for her be true? Did he love her?_

_ Elena knew what she had to say, knew that it would be the ultimate betrayal to the man she loved, but knew she must do it for the man who... who needed it the most._

_"I... yes I do... you tell Damon that I loved him. Loved his eyes, loved his smile, loved his soul... you tell him. He has... has to... to know" Elena stuttered on the last part, her mind growing foggy as Katherine took away her will to fight, will to live._

_ Katherine giggled slightly, "I knew it! You could call it... woman's intuition" Katherine finished sarcastically, "now, you can finally die Elena... shut your eyes, slowly stop your breathing which will eventually stop your heart from beating"_

_ Katherine's malevolent words oddly soothed Elena, lulled her into a dark sleep, and visions of Katherine danced along her head, mocking her, threatening her, laughing at her._

_ She saw Katherine straighten her back, a vision of grace and beauty, and saw her fangs descend, veins showcased under her eyes. Elena would be prepared for the strike, she would be ready. Elena didn't want to fight any more, so she slumped against the tree and slowly raised her head, so her neck was completely exposed._

_ Blood lust pulsed through Katherine, and drove an inner animal and rage, and most importantly, a _hunger.

_ What Katherine didn't realize was that bloodlust weakened a vampire... it distracted them._

_ Elena closed her eyes, awaiting the strike, but it never came._

_ She heard a growl of rage, then the sound of two objects, possibly boulders knocking together with great force, clapping like thunder. She heard Katherine's shriek of rage, and the sounds of leaves ruffling lightly along the ground, due to unnatural wind. A soft, large hand cupped Elena's cheek, and she recognized it immediately._

_ "Oh, Elena" Stefan choked, "please, stay with me, please... oh no, Elena, do not give up, keep fighting! Please, for me! For me, Elena!" _

_ But Elena didn't _want _to fight anymore... she was just so tired._

_ She heard two people fighting along the ground, then hitting a large object... a tree? Her suspicions were proven correct when a large tree fell to the ground, almost hitting her._

_ "St-Stefan," Elena stuttered, "where... where is Damon? Why isn't he here?" Elena asked, sincerely concerned. Did she really mean that _little _to him?_

_ Stefan cried, "No, he's here, he's fighting Katherine..." Stefan trailed off, then, unknown to Elena, looked at his brother, "Elena keep fighting, keep your heart beating, I need to help him."_

_ Elena merely nodded, and she felt his body and hand move._

_ She would keep fighting, but only for so long. She struggled to, but with much effort opened her eyes._

_ She took in her surroundings; the forest outside of the Mystic Falls cemetery. A tree was almost directly in front of her feet, after it collapsed from the impact of Katherine and Damon's fight._

_ Elena immediately fought harder... his name, it revived something in her... it was a spark, a spark of life, and she kept struggling._

_ She saw a blur of movements, but managed to catch them, even in her almost lifeless state. Damon grabbed Katherine by the hair and threw her into another tree, the impact again causing the tree to fall. Katherine, unphased, gracefully climbed from under the tree in just the nick of time before it collapsed on her. _

_ Elena soon realized they were speaking, so she focused even harder just to hear more than the buzzing ringing in her ear._

_ "-you do, don't you!" Katherine scolded, "you feel for the human! I have to say, I am truly insulted-"_

_ "You didn't want me-" Elena heard Damon's voice spit back, with a hatred so feirce it shocked Elena. Hearing his voice, it kept her going, and she awoke even more. She not only wanted to hear his voice, she _needed _to._

_ Katherine stalked towards the Salvatores with an old elegance, a delicateness that stunned her. Monsters should not move like princesses._

_ And yet she did, slowly approaching them with a ghost-like, cultivated beauty. She smiled lovingly at them, and as she did so flashed her menacing, pearly white fangs at both brothers._

_ The brothers did not dare move, and instead of approaching Damon for her attack, she approached Stefan._

_ "Dear..." She breathed seductively against his skin, "tell me you love me."_

_ Stefan gathered a shaky breath, obviously for a moment being tempted by the demonic woman. "Katherine, I do not love you, nor could I ever love you, nor did I ever" he spat the last part at her with great force and conviction, and Elena felt relief surge through her entire body._

_ But it only lasted for a moment, and Katherine used her centuries' worth of strength to hurl him across the forest, landing in a tree where an unnatural branch jutted out and stabbed him in the gut._

_ It caused Elena great pain to witness, but Damon even more so. Damon's eyes lit with a fire and intensity as he met Stefan's gaze, Stefan struggling to pull out of the branch, his breathing ragged and broken._

_ Katherine's smile faltered a bit, watching Stefan go into the tree and be in pain, but she regained her usual composure and appeared in front of Damon almost immidiately._

_ "And you," Katherine whispered entrancingly, "do you love me, my Damon? Because I love you... I really do. And when you look at the girl, you see me, don't you?"_

_ Elena's heart shattered upon hearing those words spoken, and to imagine... everything that they had been through! No, it was not true. She was his _Elena.

_ Damon looked up at her through his eye-lashes, obviously in deep thought the way his eyebrows knit together._

_ Elena felt her pulse quicken at the sight of his blue eyes, they were filled with indesicion for a moment, for the slightest of moments..._

_ 'Why is he confused?' Elena raged internally, 'Why would he ever...' she refused to believe what she was seeing as she saw Damon's eyes light with a hateful... conviction. _

_ His decision was made._

_ And by the looks of it, the decision was not in Elena or Stefan's favor._

_ Damon's eyes were laced with menace, and his smile that returned eerily to his face was interwoven with menace._

_ Elena allowed tears to cascade down her face at that moment. She was nothing more than a second choice. A temporary slot-filler._

_ She let the crushing thought wash through her, bathing in her own self pity and hatred. Why was she such a fool? The tears came easily now, they were soaking her face, broken gasps shaking her delicate frame._

_ "Katherine..." Damon whispered delicately, reaching his arm behind his back... most likely a Civil War era way of acknowledging a woman. One hand in back, one hand gently grasping the woman's fingertips._

_ Katherine victoriously put her small hand in Damon's, and she relished in the superiority. "Damon" she squeeled delightfully, her voice like fractured wind chimes._

_ "Katherine..." Damon trailed off, looking directly into her eyes, pulling her a fraction closer as his hand went even farther back..._

_ "yes?" Katherine pleasantly sighed, stepping another step closer to him._

_ Damon stepped so close, if they were to move even a fraction of an inch, their lips would graze over eachothers._

_ "Go to hell."_

_ It all went very quickly, then._

_Elena heard an abrupt snapping noise, and saw Damon plunge the hand that was behind him, holding a branch from the fallen tree, into Katherine's back._

_Directly where her cold, dead heart lay in her chest._

_Katherine looked down momentarily, too stunned to move, and when her gaze returned to him, it was deadly and filled with vengeance._

_Katherine sank her fangs into Damon's neck, drawing blood very quickly, weakening him as she died._

_Damon growled and threw her off of him, onto the dirt ground. Damon, and a very weak Elena watched as Katherine cracked and died on the fallen leaves._

_Stefan had managed to get himself loose of the tree, but sat on the ground gasping and sobbing, screaming in pain every now and then from having to remove splinters. Elena looked at him for a moment, and he returned the gaze, but his eyes were then directed to Damon._

_Damon stood there, watching the still Katherine lay on the dirt, covered in blood and mud, her face shallow and pale. His eyes looked from above her, studied her, and he leaned down slowly, and removed a stray curl from her face, and he stayed there on the ground, next to her corpse. Elena still wondered why that movement, caressing her cheek, was familiar. But at that point it didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore when she looked at his face._

_His face seemed too... wrong. He wasn't Damon anymore, that side of him died along with Katherine._

_The question plaguing Elena was whether or not she would _like _the Damon that lived._

_His eyes, they watered, and the flame, the brilliancy in them was gone. They looked, shattered, down at the woman he once loved. And that was it for Elena, that was all it took for her to struggle that little bit more. She awkwardly stumbled to her feet, still light headed although not as bad as before. Besides her neck and a few bruises, Elena was fine... fine enough. Her hands fumbled to her neck, to find that the blood was dry. She took drunken looking steps, fumbling over leaves, almost tripping over pebbles and stones, but she continued walking. Walking to _him. _The defiance in her refused to stop moving, to deny to acknowledge the fact that she was losing strength._

_Damon sat on the ground, next to Katherine's lifeless body. And as Elena approached Damon, who seemed to be completely unaware of any other presence, she heard a faint mumbling coming from Damon. _

_"Amore mio, amore mio bello. Ti ho amato con la mia anima, l'anima spezzata. Ho fiducia in te con il mio cuore, i morti, cuore senza ho amato, l'ho fatto.  
Ti ho amato, tu donna egoista. Ho bisogno di te, tu donna senza cuore. Ti ho protetto, brutto donna. Ma ti perdono. Ti perdono, è donna egoista. Ti perdono, è la donna senza cuore. Ti perdono, brutto donna. e offro qui, rotto, chiedendo il tuo perdono anche. perdonami per amarti, in primo luogo"_

_Elena stopped dead in her tracks. Damon spoke his final goodbyes to Katherine in Italian, the words flowing off his tongue fluently, a voice like a lullaby. Broken, soft, beautiful. So beautiful..._

_She continued to walk towards him, not allowing herself to succumb to the soothing sound of his voice. Soon enough, he lay at her feet, and he was aware of her presence amongst him, but he continued murmuring in his Italian. Elena did not know why, but she dropped down to her knees in that moment, hesitantly lifted her hand, and laid it on his face. She stroked his face lovingly, using her forefinger and thumb to remove the fresh fallen tears. He leaned into her hand for a moment, and Elena's heart rate inclined immediately. She raised her other hand to wipe the tears from the other side of his face, but her hand never made it there._

_Damon quickly grabbed her other hand, but instead of the force and strength she expected, his hand was shaking slightly, vulnerable, and he caught her grasp tenderly. His eyes stared straight ahead, not _seeing _anything, only feeling. __Elena watched with delicate apprehension as Damon slowly brought her hand up near to his face, then to his beautiful, sculpted mouth. He turned her hand around and softly, gingerly, pressed his lips against the palm of her hand. He allowed himself to waver there, his nose lightly tracing along her skin, causing goosebumps to raise along her flesh and for her to shudder. Then Damon turned her palm facing downwards, and kissed her hand once more along the knuckles, with the same delicacy and consideration. His eyes closed lightly, as did Elena's, and they both savored the intimate moment. His impossibly long eyelashes lightly brushed her arm which caused Elena to gasp, the sensation was too wonderful. With him so close, she could smell him. Musk, and a light, flowery scent she couldn't identify along with a sweet liquor and the smell of cinnamon. He smelled like... Damon smelled like vulnerability. Elena didn't know _how _she came to identify it as that, but it just was._

_And then, Elena was in his arms, though she didn't know how she came to be. Damon was suddenly standing and she was laying in his arms like a rag doll, realizing how exhausted she truly was, she could just fall into the deepest sleep... if he'd just hold onto her like this forever... _

_He carried her over to Stefan, who sat on the ground numbly, reaching for splinters in his stomach. He looked up, disconcerted, and spotted Elena. His eyes went round, and to offer some comfort, Elena lightly mumbled under her breath to show Stefan she was fine, just incredibly tired._

_And light headed, so very light headed._

_Stefan tried to stand , tried to move, but still couldn't seem to make his body function without pain running through every nerve of his body. Elena immediately wanted to help him, to cure him of any pain he was feeling, although it did make her feel _reasonably _better that he hadn't seen Damon and her's exchange. That, that was theirs. Not Katherines, not Stefans, not anyones but their own._

_And Damon stopped a foot away from Stefan and stood, trembling, wavering. _

_Elena was curious as to why he simply stood there, not letting her go. Stefan sat, gasping, but still expectant and puzzled._

_Damon then slowly lowered his nose to Elena's head, inhaling her scent deeply as he had so many months ago, except then he was threatening her. This time, he cautiously kissed her forehead, putting much more pressure in his lips than before. She was so focused and startled and curiously _overjoyed _in the moment, she didn't realize until his arms loosened around her, that she was safely on the ground, laying next to Stefan. Elena didn't say anything to him, anything they said... it wouldn't be enough. She didn't look up to him, but she heard him rustle around in his pockets, fishing out a pair of keys. The car keys, _his _car keys. He threw them wordlessly at Stefan, turned slowly and walked into the darkness of the night._

_That is when she allowed herself to bury her head in Stefan's shoulder and cry. Sob for everything in her life._

_He smelled like safety. Fresh and clean, with the softest amount of cologne. The fight and the wound had not muddled his smell, but why... _

_Why did Elena feel as though his scent was wrong, was... not the one she wanted?_

_A faint wind carried along the scent of musk, flowers, sweet liquor, and cinnamon to Elena's nose._

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

Elena was immediately pulled back to the present with a gasp, realizing that Stefan was knocking at her car window with a look of concern etched all over his features.

"Hey," He murmured when she opened the door and allowed him to hug her, "do you want to talk about it?"

Elena shook her head, realizing she had been crying for nearly an hour in her car, recalling the memory. Silence descended upon the couple as Elena sat sobbing in Stefan's arms.

"So... you brought the boxes" Stefan joked, referring to her backseat loaded to the top with boxes of all different sizes. She allowed herself to giggle at that, and leaned into Stefan.

He was so much bigger than her, her head was always tucked under his chin, his arms wrapping around her entire body. She felt safe, which was good.

She just didn't feel the perfect fit, almost as if he was _too _big...

Oh, Elena despised it when she allowed her thoughts to wonder to absurd things, things that made no sense. She loved Stefan. She was meant to be with Stefan. Right?

...Right...

She shook her head, then straightened her back which resulted in Stefan nearly falling out of the seat.

"Come on," Elena said with conviction, "we have to go pick up some momentos!"

Stefan allowed a gentle smile to grace his face, and responded, "let's go"

* * *

Wow guys, I have been writing this since... 12:36 am, and now it is 4:47 am and I only have the first chapter done.

So. Tired.

I really hope you like it, I will be slowly revealing the Founders day aftermath, what happened with all the cliffhangers and characters, *coughUncleJohncough* and just tell me what you think, offer criticism. It is my first multi-chapter, and I should be posting every... other day? That is my goal, because I have the outline for every chapter, but if i cant keep up, then it will be every three days and if I cant keep up with THAT, I would probably do once a week, but that is HIGHLY unlikely. Alright, tell me, good, or no good, i'm so excited for some reviews! I have a goal of... possibly five reviews? maybe? if you read and you like, (or you don't like) please write a review because it would really help with my writing. And if you have questions that's welcome!

Alrighty, one thing i'd like to see in a review is what YOUR favorite part was! There is one part that was definitely MY favorite, but I won't tell ;)

Oh and ideas are always accepted and considered!

With love, Taylor 3


	2. A bitter homecoming

**Hi everyone! I know I really don't have a lot of readers on this fanfic, but the ones who ARE reading it, you are wonderful. never stop. :)**

**but I do want to constantly load new chapters, so here we go, Chapter 2!**

**But first... some business. I had one person say that they wanted the translation from Damon's Italian to english, to see what he really said to Katherine, (may she rest in pieces). Here is the rough translation,**

**"My love, my beautiful love. I loved you with my soul, the broken soul. I trusted you with my heart, the dead heart. I loved you, I did.**  
**I loved you, you selfish woman. I needed you, you heartless woman. I protected you, horrid woman. But I forgive you. I forgive you, you selfish woman. I forgive you, you heartless woman. I forgive you, horrid woman. and I lay there, broken, asking your forgiveness too. I ask for you to forgive me for loving you, first."**

**and that really was the gist of his whole speech :)**

**And I admit to stealing the "go to hell" conversation (not the stab, but the convo) from the books, i'm a sinner!**

**And incase you were, well, dumb, I don't own TVD... if I did, do you think that KATHERINE would have been the one kissing Damon? yeah, not likely in my case. The things Elena'd be doing to Damon would be ILLEGAL in some states.**

**Enjoy your read!**

* * *

A sense of deja vu passed over Elena as they drove up the pebble and dirt path to the old Salvatore mansion. She had gone there with Stefan, she remembered the trip. He had told her the truth, the _whole _truth to the Salvatore family. The trip to the house alone was otherworldly, had Mystic Falls ever been so green? So lush?

Elena rolled down the passenger's side window and laid her head on her arms, pulling her knees close to her chest.

Stefan offered a hand to hold, and Elena gratefully intertwined hers with his, as he applied a slight pressure to her delicate palm. Elena returned her attention to the outside, she was positive she could hear a stream somewhere, birds proudly chiming their bittersweet songs along the banks of a river, and the sunlight reflecting through the almost translucent leaves casting a surreal glow to the atmosphere. The beauty was breath taking, Elena shut her eyes lightly, allowing light to still pass through, and felt the warmth of the sun's rays soak into her already tan skin. A small smile graced her lips, and the movement of her lips turning upwards was welcomed, she hadn't had a moment of relaxation or pleasure in a long time... a very long time.

The next thing Elena knew, she was plunging into another troubling thought, being dragged under into a hopeless, endless dream...

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

_After the founders day events, Elena returned to her house after reassuring her boyfriend with an "I love you, Stefan"._

_She walked in the house, calling upstairs to Jeremy to check on him, before she heard someone clumsily moving around in the kitchen. Elena wasn't sure why Jeremy would be in the kitchen, if that was him. She doubted it being Jenna, she wasn't the late night snack person. She was more of the stay up late and scream at Jerry Springer kind of person. _

_Elena hastily moved towards the kitchen, slowly inching her way closer with every step. She held her breath, feeling the naseau in the pit of her stomach as she rounded the corner and saw someone's fingers on the counter... someones fingers on the counter, but the rest of their body in a bloody pit on the ground._

_That's when she could smell, almost _taste _the coppery scent in the air that filled the kitchen, blood was everywhere. And someone was laying there, on the ground, in a disturbing heap._

_Elena was about to let out a startled scream when a hand clamped over her mouth. Assuming the worst, Elena kicked and screamed for dear life, struggling in this person's strong grasp. The person physically turned Elena around, and Elena feared the face that would be shown to her. _

_"Elena!" Damon whispered aggressively. Elena let out a sigh of relief, then soon realized that she didn't know who the person was in the kitchen... or who had done it for that matter._

_Damon saw the accusing glint that was shown in Elena's eye when she turned back to the kitchen and then back at Damon. Damon scoffed, "You seriously think that I did this, Elena?" but even his sarcasm could not mask the true hurt laced into Damon's words . _

_Elena shook her head, tears threatening to overflow any second, "I know, but I just...I got home and then I heard someone in the kitchen moving around. I went to go check, and... oh god, Damon!" Elena bawled, "Someone is in there, they're hurt and the person was invited in... oh my god, Jenna, Uncle John, Jeremy!" _

_Elena went to move around Damon to get to the kitchen, but as fate would have it, he wouldn't allow her to go anywhere alone. Not when it mattered most to keep her safe from whatever unknown force was lurking in the dark. Damon tried to push Elena back, but she was stubborn and refused to be held back. _Especially _not by Damon._

_"Elena!" Damon nearly yelled, trying to get her attention as she mumbled incoherent half sentences of distress. _

_Elena knew that Damon was not very good with interacting with humans. She knew that it asked a lot of him to be pleasant to most of them, and that he was naturally uncomfortable when dealing with _true _emotions. Not just lust, or some half drunken concerns of girls he had picked up at a bar. Damon didn't have to tell her that he wasn't very good at being a good conversationalist with a human emotionally. _

_Elena just knew. _

_She knew that when she broke down in front of him, he didn't understand how to react, he just did. A century of turning off your emotions will do that to you. It was so easy to let your emotions control you, go into a frenzy due to the lack of experienced emotions. In life, when you react to something, if you are overtaken by emotion it is so much easier to have your clear thinking leave you. You have to live in the moment and experience everything. The disposition is intensified in that moment, making it difficult to see clearly._

_But Damon, in a panic, did the first thing that came to his mind. His hands reached upwards and then found Elena's face, and he softly grazed his fingertips on her cheeks. He _forced _her to look into his eyes, to see that he was faced with indecision and couldn't be the white knight for her, couldn't do the right thing for her._

_She became light-headed under the intensity of his gaze, flushing a soft, dainty red. His palms landed timidly on her cheeks, and he gathered a shaky breath, looking as if he was about to do something he would regret. Elena's gazed wandered from his eyes to his lips... those lips looked... like nothing else. Her heart beat quickened, and she forced herself to look only into his eyes._

_The strangest thing was in his eyes. The thing she loved about Damon's eyes was that it was a contradiction to who he was. He wore leather coats and drove a mustang. Elena never saw him not wearing a black article of clothing and he seemed so dark, mischievous. But his eyes, they were so honest, so pure. It was difficult not to trust Damon when you looked into his eyes. They were looking directly into her, breathing her in. She could feel Damon inside of her, and she read his beautiful features._

_His eyes illustrated what looked to be... defeat. _

_"I can't be your savior, Elena" he whispered brokenly, "but I want to be, and that is why you have to call Stefan, now, he's going to help you..."_

_Elena understood what he was doing. He was giving up the hero role to his brother, allowing himself to go back into the shadows once all attention was turned to Stefan._

_"promise me you won't leave me," She whispered, loud enough so only he could hear. Elena _almost _expected Damon to smirk at her, _almost.

_But instead his eyes flickered an unreadable light. There was warmth and happiness and rejoicing in the one moment his eyes met hers, and he sobered a bit at the intensity and gravity of the situation._

_With his hands that still graced her cheeks, he moved his thumb up and down lightly as a comforting gesture._

_"Elena... you are...my home" Damon breathed intensely. Elena noticed how warm his hands were, how incredibly warm..._

_Damon pulled his hands away from Elena's face almost instantly, and the move was almost painful for Elena._

_Elena didn't understand the meaning of Damon's words, and she had made a mental note to ask him what he truly meant by that, but there was no time to defy him. _

_"Stay here, and call Stefan" Damon ordered. Elena simply nodded her head, and he went into the kitchen. She heard him gasp, and he ran quickly back to where Elena was standing._

_"No one is in there, Elena, there's only blood, but you said-"_

_"What?" Elena gasped, "What do you mean no one's in there? I saw... I saw the body! I saw the body lying there!"_

_"Stay here" Damon ordered, "I'm catching someone's scent, It seems familiar, but I don't know..."_

_"be careful" Elena murmured, suddenly aware that if someone was still in the house, that he could be terribly hurt._

_Damon glanced at Elena, a glance that showed longing and fierce protection all wrapped up into one. But for the smallest of moments, he looked at her lips longingly, as if he remembered something about them, something Elena was unaware of._

_"Always am" he replied gently._

_Then he was gone. Elena never felt more alone in her life, never felt so bare, and unprotected. It was sad, but terribly true, and she was left there to wonder how she had ever grown so weak._

_Damon appeared in front of her, panic etched all over his features, looking at Elena painfully._

_"Elena, I'm so sorry, I looked upstairs and Jenna is there but-"_

_"They took them, didn't she?" Elena sobbed, "Jeremy and John, oh my god, the vampire took them-"_

_He gracefully walked over to Elena and with his long, slender fingers, grabbed her phone from her pocket and called Stefan himself._

_Elena wondered what caused her to forget to call him so easily..._

_"Stefan, you have to come over here, now... please stop the jealous boyfriend role and get over here, it's Elena..." and with that, Damon had to say no more before Stefan appeared minutes later, running through the door, in a heroic, cliche, over-dramatic looking way. Elena would have laughed on any other occasion..._

_"Elena!" Stefan said, shocked to still find her in one piece, "Damon, I thought you said..._

_"A vampire was here, and we need to find them. You look downstairs, I look upstairs."_

_"What about me?" Elena asked compulsively._

_"I... where do you want to go?" Damon asked with much struggle, trying not to get overly angry with her. She was just trying to help him, and that was all that mattered._

_"Upstairs," Elena muttered almost silently, "in my room."_

_Stefan looked at Elena strangely, then turned his head away from, not being able to look at her._

_"Alright" Damon whispered, and with that he was upstairs in the blink of an eye, most likely checking her room for danger._

_"All clear," Damon said when he returned downstairs. Without another look, Elena walked up to her room, feeling both the brother's eyes on her back as she ascended the staircase, walking into her room, away from Damon and Stefan._

_She entered her room and collapsed onto her bed. She was incredibly tired and had only a wink of sleep in the past few nights, strange feelings overcoming her and making it impossible for sleep to come. She was restless every night._

_The feeling overcame Elena again, that feeling of... a presence in the room. Her head darted up and her curls cascaded down her back, draping elegantly on her. Elena walked to the mirror, allowing herself to do a once over, to check her makeup and make sure she didn't look _too _hideous. She examined the curls, trying to revive their beautiful bounce, but let them fall into loose waves around her face. She turned from the mirror to turn off her lamp, she was extremely tired._

_"Curls look best on me" a very feminine, seductive voice said from behind her, obviously someone in front of the mirror._

_Elena was too startled to move or look, and being slammed into the mirror behind of her, she was met with blackness._

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

A bump in the trail woke Elena from her reverie. She snapped back into reality, just in time to meet the anxious look of Stefan. He pulled the car to a stop, a mile or so from the front gate.

"I don't want to disturb the original path," Stefan mentioned as we slid out of the car, "It's already damaged enough as is."

"It's beautiful, Stefan. And I don't mind walking, it's a wonderful day out," Elena said lamely, she truly had no words to describe the enchanting glow this place seemed to have.

Stefan smiled at her warmly, grabbed boxes from the car, and they began to walk towards the mansion. Elena and Stefan walked in companionable silence, each other's presence being enough for each other.

Why did Elena feel as though someone were missing?

"Let me help you with that," Elena mumbled, grabbing a box from Stefan who was balancing four on top of each other.

"Thank you, love," Stefan murmured appreciatively, "Okay, so I will show you my old room, we will get my old stuff and put it in the boxes, then we'll go through the rest of the house for the 'grand tour' and throw out the rest-"

"Wait," Elena interrupted, dumbfounded, "we're only saving your stuff?"

"...isn't that what you wanted? We couldn't possibly save _all _of it-"

"What about Damon's stuff?" Elena questioned him strangely. Why _wouldn't _they save some of Damon's old momentos?

Stefan sighed and set down the boxes, and gathered her tiny, soft hands in his graceful, large ones. "Elena... I don't think..." Stefan gently paused for a moment, obviously wondering how to tell me _whatever _he was planning on telling me.

"What?" Elena persisted. _Why is Stefan so against saving his brother's belongings?_

"...he never truly had a great past here, Elena. And, he just had to _kill _the woman he loved who lived here with us, many many nights," Stefan paused shortly and continued, "I don't know what does or doesn't remind him of Katherine. I can't cause him any more pain than I already have..." Stefan finished uncomfortably, as if acknowledging the fact that he caused him anger was painful for him.

"Stefan..." Elena began uneasily, "Damon has bad memories here, as do you, but that doesn't mean that one day he won't want to remember where he came from... I think we should gather his things, and he can throw them away if he wants to, but if not, at least he'll have the option of having them" she spoke gently to Stefan, always cautiously guarding the words she wanted to truly say. She had to be careful, he was insecure enough already, and she didn't want him questioning her bond to him.

Stefan gazed at her strangely for a moment, then picked two boxes up and handed them to Elena, "Alright," he said pleasantly, "you pack Satin spawn's, I'll pack my own, and once we are done we'll both do a once over of the house" Stefan sounded playful, and Elena enjoyed the fact that his memories made him happy.

Elena nodded stubbornly, and began running towards the house in a full sprint, "last one to the house loses!" she called over her shoulder. When she turned around, Stefan was already standing on the porch, holding his two boxes.

"I win" Stefan bragged childishely, although his voice still sounded too mature for the act.

Why did she yearn for him to wiggle his eyebrows suggestively? Why did she crave his genuine smile to turn into a 'high and mighty' smirk... For his green eyes to turn lighter, and lighter yet, until they were the purest of light blues...

Elena shook her head abruptly, foolishly trying to shake Damon out of her.

She couldn't, he'd gotten under her skin, far more under. He'd gotten into her bloodstream...

"You, mister Salvatore, are a cheater" Elena gasped for air stubbornly... she would live in the moment and not dwell on troubling thoughts, "Why am I having a hard time breathing, and you don't evem have a god damn hair out of place?" Elena gasped incredulously.

Stefan chuckled in return, "come on, Elena, let's get to work."

Elena followed him into the old Salvatore house, stunned by the beauty of it. The house was so elegant, so... regal. She could hardly believe that Stefan had ever lived in it.

Stefan allowed a low chuckle himself, and he sighed wistfully and painfully, most likely focusing on memories of 1864...

"Okay," Elena said, eager to pull Stefan back from any painful memories, "Let's get started. Just show me where Damon's room was, and I'll get what I think to be-"

"Elena, wait," Stefan interjected. Elena looked up, a considerate confusion lining her features.

Stefan continued, "Maybe I should get his stuff and mine, and you could go see the rest of the house... I just don't know-"

"If I can do it?" Elena spat, overcome with emotion, "You don't think I understand him, Stefan?"

Elena understood. Stefan didn't know if she could get Damon's belongings because she wouldn't _understand _him enough to get the right things. A tidal wave of anger washed over her, and she felt a feirce spark ignite in herself.

She _knew _Damon.

Stefan ran his hand through his hair, and his brows knit together, "Elena, I have been his brother for 162 _years-"_

"No," she nearly yelled, "You have not been his brother. You have been a controversial fraud, fighting against his nature, who refuses to accept him because _you _believe you are too _high and mighty _to show an ounce of _caring _for your own _flesh _and _blood. No, _Stefan, you have _not _been his brother. He may have been a sinner, a devil, a _killer, _but he was your brother, your mentor, your only friend as a child! He needed to trust you... he needed to trust me, and no matter what we do, we can never ensure him that he will be okay! Telling him that he can trust us has either had him emotionally betrayed, but more recently, it could turn out like last Thursday night that had him nearly _killed! _We can never do right by him, but I _understand _him. I know who he is and while I may not always agree, I care enough to stand behind him as he fights. He could be fighting for the Devil or for God, and no matter the choice I would stand by him until the bitter end, which you have proven you cannot do!" She finished gasping, putting a hand to her chest to calm her pulse.

She looked at Stefan then, fearing what his reaction was to her ranting, and was confound by what she saw.

He was just standing there, politely, listening to her scream at him about his faults, and his calm facade hadn't even _faltered. _

She became stunningly aware of the depth of the words she had said to Stefan, what had come over her?

"Stefan, please forgive me, I am so-"

"No," Stefan interrupted kindly, his voice still gentle and warm. A hint of a smile returned to his face, "You are right, Elena, and I love you for that...because I love Damon, too. I had to consider the idea that someone understood him while all _I _had been doing was pushing him farther away... _taunting _him. My own brother..." Stefan trailed off then, and tears glistened in Elena's eyes.

"It isn't your fault," Elena began, "but can you be there more? I am not asking for a full fledged best friendship, but I'm talking an understanding," Elena smiled a bit at this last memory,

_You and I... we have something... an understanding_

"an understanding is the foundation for _any _relationship, not just boyfriends and girlfriends, but friendships and families need to understand each other... It will be very difficult Damon, but please... please... try." Elena finished lamely.

Stefan merely nodded, and kissed her forehead.

She closed her eyes as he did this, and for a moment, for the smallest of moments, she imagined a different pair of lips putting the faintest pressure on her head, those lips afraid to go too far, to ruin the moment...

She opened her eyes. That was enough of that.

She smiled faintly at him, and he smiled back broadly, "Okay, Elena, when you're done, come back down here and we'll do a once over, okay?"

"Okay," her smile turned a little stronger, realizing that she had changed Stefan's mind and got him to come to his senses. She turned slightly and grabbed her two large boxes, then made her way up the staircase gracefully.

Stefan felt something pull at his memory, it was the first time Katherine had walked up those steps to her new room. He had offered her assistance, as did everyone, but she wanted to do it on her own, in that incredibly large dress of hers. She was so stubborn...

Stefan shook his head, pulling the memory loose. _I will not dwell on the past, rather focus for the future, me and Elena's future..._

But Stefan _was _feeling a tad nostalgic as he walked the staircase alone. Completely, devastatingly alone...

_Potrebbe essere possibile, mi manchi, amore mio demone, _Stefan thought regretfully

* * *

**Okay, I was definitely skeptical when it came to writing Stefan. I will _never _put him out of character, at least that is not what I want to do. Sorry kiddies, but the Damon&Elena process will be slooooooooooowwwwwww...**

**But was it wayyyyyy too O.O.C? I feel like I MAJORLY screwed up the characters, but it is very difficult to put them IN character, and still have them slowly progressing...weird. And as I've said before, most of my inspiration comes at night. But what I'm doing now, preparing for school, is going to bed... *gulp* earlier...**

**it sucks ass, let me tell you that.**

**Alright, this chapter is a teensy weensy bit shorter than the first, but the first was kind of an opening, this chapter ISN'T a filler, but more of a lead in. And you should also know that I am thinking of just doing once every THREE days. I'm sorry and I hope I am not severely disappointing someone, but I have a vacation coming up and I don't want to leave without a warning. If I don't have a new chapter posted once every three days, then vacation has caught up with me. ugh. I don't even wanna go! urglyburg!**

**(and p.s. the translation is "it may be possible I miss you my demonic love" ****awwwww, kinda sad. Just cause I'm writing for Damon&Elena doesn't mean I automatically hate Stefan, I actually admire him)**

**(and p.s.s, NIGHTLYEVILTM, are you the vidder NightlyEvilTM? Because if so... um, can I have your virtual autograph? Your videos are beautiful and everyone should check them out RIGHT NOW. I loveeeee them! eeep, I was so excited!)**

**Alright thats it, peace, love, and lots of chocolate! -Taylor 3**


	3. Secluded Memories

**Hey guys! I'm staying with my grandma right now... fun. But, it gave me some serious inspiration for this chapter, and I'm going to start writing... NOW!**

**Um... okay, not now, because I have some notes.**

**First of all, I dont own TVD, like I said before... sad monkey.**

**and another thing, the flashbacks will be very slow coming, slowly the happenings of the nights leading to Katherine's death and Elena's kidnapping will be shown, but after it is all revealed, I don't think there will be any more flashbacks, sorry. Alright, I'm going to start... now!**

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

Elena managed to find her way around the Salvatore mansion quite easily, popping her head in each room breifly before jumping to another room.

One room held an elegant looking wooden bed, with a wonderful looking mattress covered by a creme silk sheet and a feather down comforter, and the bed's large poles, supporting a light lace canopy held a sheer curtain around it. The bed frame was lined with a thin, undulating line of golden paint, and the entire frame was gracefullly curved, with identical indentations on the poles. There was a smaller, less beautiful bed on the side of it, with only a white, dirty looking quilt on it. A full length mirror was showcased in the corner of the room, and the wooden floor looked worn down and used often. Cobwebs collected on the sides of the walls but that did little to cover the sheer sophistication and refinement of the room.

Elena felt tears spring in her eyes and her throat catch when she found a picture of a woman with straight raven hair that cascaded down her shoulders, the image nailed on the wall of chipping creme and striped paint. She looked old and worn down with sickness, but her eyes held a fire that was easily caught by the less modern camera. In fact, Elena was almost certain that the Salvatores had one of the very first cameras ever used. The sepia tone did little to hide the woman's eyes, though. Her eyes were so light, so incredibly light, Elena could tell they were not brown, nor green as Stefan's were, but blue. A beautiful, blazing, brilliant blue.

Elena had to look away, but not before she captured the date of her birth and... death.

Alessandra Salvatore

1822-1850

Elena cringed; she was only 28 years old at the time of her death. She tore her gaze away, not wanting to allowing herself to do the math of the ages for Stefan and Damon's ages at the time of their mother's death.

But of course, Elena's head had already processed numbers. Stefan was only three years old at the time, it must not have been too much of a burden on him. But Damon was eight years old, his mother's death must have killed him, Elena thought sadly. She wondered how Alessandra must have died, possibly from sickness or disease, but Elena didn't want to ask... or, she didn't want to bring up bad memories by asking.

Elena could've asked Stefan, but she knew he was only three at the time, he might not have had the entire story. She would ask Damon, he would know for certain.

By what she heard from Stefan, Damon and their mother were very close, considering the fact that his father didn't respect or value him. Elena still felt even more sympathy for Damon, and that sympathy only added to her colossal accumulation of compassion for him.

Elena made the decision to take the picture off the wall, and cautiously place it in the box. Damon would appreciate it.

Elena continued to search the room, slowly wondering why the room had an extra bed... Elena turned to the dresser, and found her answer.

On the dresser laid a small, pocket sized, sepia toned picture of... Katherine. And next to that was a small, silver brush with soft white bristles, and engraved on the handle in the same cursive font that wrote Katherines name on the picture, was written "Katherine Pierce."

The extra bed belonged to her friend and servant, Emily Bennett.

So the guest bedroom that Katherine stayed in belonged to Stefan and Damon's mother. Elena was appalled at the lack of respect Guiseppe had, letting a woman who was having an affair with both his sons, stay in his late wifes room. Elena's brows knit together and her nose scrunched.

She was continuously liking Guiseppe less and less.

Elena couldn't bear to be in the room any longer, so she gathered the boxes she had set down and continued to walk into the narrow hallway to another room, another memory...

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

_Elena looked into the fear of her brothers eyes, fear and hunger and rage that shone brightly as Elena was forced steadily towards him._

_Elena felt the trail of blood trickle down her arm... and her leg... and her head. Elena remembered faintly being in her room, then knocked unconscious. She somewhat recollected a man with sandy blonde hair and brown eyes dragging her throughout a large house, kicking her and hurting her. She recalled the raging incineration of her left arm when the man held her to a blazing fire._

_She felt the tears sting in her eyes, as she was shoved toward the dead, alive, transitioning Jeremy Gilbert. Katherine had one of her newly acquired minions hurt Elena and give Jeremy the choice. Feed on Elena or die._

_This was the man that had helped Katherine abduct Jeremy and John the night of the Founders day events. Ryan took them, used them for amusement, but Katherine had hardly anything to do with them, except for the decision of their final fate. Death._

_Elena then prayed, prayed to God that by some miracle, that Jeremy would be able to control himself, that the animal wouldn't control him._

_But she knew he wasn't strong enough, that in the end, both of them would die no matter what. This man, his name was Ryan, Elena remembered, was ordered by Katherine to kill both children, and he would oblige._

_Ryan shoved Elena harshly into Jeremy's arms, and he walked slowly up the staircase back to the main level of the house. Elena heard the lock of the door click. She looked to Jeremy, and he backed away, fearful. If Jeremy had even a fighting chance of living, Elena had to sacrifice herself. Elena held out her bloody arm, petrified, and sobbed, broken-hearted._

_"No, Elena," Jeremy whispered, stunned, "I can't..."_

_"You have to," She said feircely, this was all for him, "You have to fight and live-"_

_"I can't control myself-"_

_"I don't care" Elena whispered. Elena saw understanding dawn in Jeremy's eyes as he realized the gravity of Elena's offer._

_"Elena, you have so much to live for," Jeremy weeped, "I can't be the one to murder you."_

_"But this is for you. I will always be a part of you, because of this, and you will be strong and alive because of it. You need to feed now. You too, John" Elena uttered, acknowledging her father for the first time. She turned her head to him slowly, barely catching him in the dull lighting of the basement they were held in. He looked horrified by this exchange, curled into a literal ball in the corner of the room._

_"I don't want this," he bawled in a cold sweat, "I don't want to turn. I would never-"_

_"But you'll die!" Elena interrupted, "It's your only choice"_

_"No. I have lived a wonderful life, but I have nothing to live for, certainly nothing important enough to kill my daughter for... I won't feed..." then, something lit in Johns eyes, it looked strangely like hope._

_"What is it, John?" Elena inquired._

_"...is he only able to drink pure human blood?" John demanded, his voice almost sounding... excited. He had come on to something, but Elena wasn't entirely sure what..._

_"I don't know, John, I'm thinking that any blood will do, almost like how Stefan can live off animal blood-"_

_John cringed, then he stood, his head nearly hitting the low ceiling in his corner of the room. He walked into Elena and Jeremy's part of the basement, but continued walking to Jeremy._

_Jeremy nodded to him, a silent exchange passing between the two for a moment. Elena noticed then that Jeremy was... a man. An adult. He was nearly as tall as John, and his eyes held and eery maturity rarely found in children his age or older._

_"Jeremy, you have to feed off of me." John commanded. There was no room for a question in his tone, he was ordering._

_Jeremy shook slightly, then held his hand out for John to shake one last time. Tears were threatening to overflow in Jeremy and John's eyes. Elena watched, staggered by what John was doing. He was sacrificing himself to a vampire._

_Instead of releasing John's arm, Jeremy held it to his mouth, closed his dark and vein pertruding eyes tightly, and dug his fangs into Johns flesh._

_Elena yelled "no!" realizing abruptly that it was over, that John was going to die._

_John collapsed, his eyes looking empty and dull, but Elena ran to him and kneeled on the ground where he subsided in his last moments of life._

_"No, John, please..." Elena trailed off, "How can I help? Tell me..."_

_With much effort, John turned his head to Elena, his eyes bringing back a small amount of light, and his gasps were quick and shallow, "there's only one thing... call me dad, just...just one time..."_

_Elena felt the tears overflow her cheeks, and she laughed a delicate, bitter, sorrowful laugh, "okay, dad. I'm sorry I have been so horrible to you-"_

_"No, it's okay... just, let me give you some advice... fatherly advice-" he chuckled, then was cut off by a body trembling cough, "You know that... that lately I haven't had much... control over your choices... I don't have the right to help you in your life because I was never... never there... so you have to always... always know what you want. Know what you want in life..." his eyes shut then, his last breath forming one last shaky word, "Goodbye..."_

_Elena sobbed over his still, lifeless body, Jeremy looking down at him, despising himself for what he did._

_In that moment, she heard scuffling noises above her, yelling and gasping and falling. Crashing was heard throughout the house, and then the basement door was broken down, revealing the artificial light throughout the house._

_"Elena! Elena are you down here?" Elena thought she heard Stefan yell, descending the steps._

_'Why does he sound different?' Elena thought miserably, 'He almost sounds like...'_

_Elena was cut off by strong, protective arms wrapping around her, leaning into her, becoming part of her, but this body was not too large, the body melted into her at just the right size..._

_"Elena..." Damon croaked, tears falling from his eyes, wrapping his arms even tighter around her fragile body. He lovingly and protectively tried to get her to stop fighting him so she could break free of his grasp to run to John, "you're alright, it's okay, shh, it's okay." Elena was sobbing the entire time, sobbing for John... for her father. No wonder she had been so confused as to who was upstairs, who fought for her and resued her, who came to her rescue as the eternally ironic white knight._

_Elena's dark knight._

_But she didn't yearn for Stefan to come and whisk her away, to lay her head under his and softly caress her, to soothe her and make her stop crying._

_She wanted Damon to let her fight and yell and scream, Damon to allow her to wrestle against his strong hold and try to reach for her father, Damon to revive any fight she had left in her almost lifeless body._

_Elena wanted Damon. She was tired enough, she would not put in the scarce amount of strength she had left trying to fight it. Instead, she fell into his warm embrace, fell into him, and unknown to her, allowed herself into Damon's heart..._

_Damon looked panicked at Elena's sudden change, but nonetheless held her, with no intentions of ever letting her go._

_Elena wouldn't either._

_Damon looked at Jeremy, who was staring longingly at Elena's neck, a pained expression crossing his features, "leave," Damon pleaded, watching over Elena. Jeremy's veins were showing, but with the hardest struggle of Jeremy's life, he managed to hide them, if only for a moment._

_"Where is Stefan?" Jeremy asked, looking for an immidiate answer. Elena's bawling had subsided with that question and she listened for the answer herself._

_"He went... he went to see Katherine," Damon replied softly, "she said she wanted to see him, that she wouldn't hurt you-"_

_"How did you know to find us?" Jeremy interjected impatiently, "When Katherine said that she wouldn't hurt us, you came for Elena..."_

_Elena looked up at Damon, and in that instant their eyes met, he looked almost... embarrassed. He looked stunned by the fact that Jeremy had said that he came for Elena._

_She would never forget that._

_He didn't return his gaze to Jeremy, but continued to gaze at Elena, almost craving her, "I came for all of you, I came for... for Stefan."_

_Elena returned his longing gaze, but felt shattered at that fact. That Damon came to rescue Elena for Stefan, only for Stefan. The fact tore through her, and she unknowingly whimpered. Damon reflexively held her closer, allowing himself to do what he yearned to do since the day he met her._

_Just to hold her._

_Jeremy caught the look in Damon's eyes, but he continued to press, was the room getting smaller? He couldn't breathe, he couldn't feel anything other than the pulse and blood and the running bloodstream just under Elena's flesh, so easily obtained. "But how did you know to come?" Jeremy croaked, his throat cracking due to the unnatural dryness._

_"I never trusted Katherine, never for a second," Damon quipped roughly._

_'That means that Stefan does trust her' Elena thought, doleful. Damon could sense her tense up, so he continued uncomfortably._

_"He really didn't have a choice, though. He left for you, not because he... he trusted her" Damon whispered, for the first time in his life, defending his brother. Elena was startled, but his abnormal words brought her back into the reality of the situation... She was with Stefan. Stefan. His image flooded her mind and she felt the greif and guilt wash over her. She awkwardly moved out of Damon's grasp, and his eyes held so much pain and sadness, but most importantly, acceptance at this move, it was difficult for Elena to resist falling into his arms once again._

_'Why didn't Katherine want to speak with Damon, also?' Elena wondered idly. Another thing she had to ask him at another time. Jeremy nodded solemnly at the answers he was given, then vanished, using his new found speed to book it out of the room as fast as possible. Elena watched him go, and fought the tears that threatened to overflow again. For the smallest of moments she glanced at Damon, and she knew that he saw the pain flash in her eyes and her face distorted with sorrow. She wished he would gather her in his cautious yet always passionate embrace, but she knew he would never, not when he was uncertain of her reciprocating that show of affection. He wouldn't open himself up until it was clear that he wouldn't be hurt. And Elena understood... somewhat._

_Damon looked at John Gilberts corpse, and respectfully bowed his head for a moment. She observed him shut his eyes, and his next movement stunned her. He brought his hand up to his head "the father", then to the center of his chest "the son", then to the left side of his chest "and the holy", then the right "spirit, amen"._

_Damon was praying._

_He looked up at her once he reopened his eyes, his somber and beautiful blue eyes... and they were piercing her soul. "Let's get you out of here..." he murmured..._

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

Elena stopped at the door at the end of the hall, the closed door gave off a very secluded vibe. Someone alone, distant... Elena held her fist up for a moment, foolishly thinking to knock, letting her manners get the best of her. She laid her hand on door handle and the cool touch of it calmed her nerves, rather than putting her on edge. Although the room had an odd aura, Elena felt safe. She opened to door slowly, peaking her head in, and felt the air leave her lungs when she witnessed the room.

Alessandra's room was nothing compared to this, the wooden floors were not worn down, but glazed over with brazilian cherry wood lining each square inch of the floor. The bed however, was simply _regal. _The mahogany wood was painted a dark color, and the curves of the headboard went in, then drastically up where the numerous arcs were centered to a single carved shell in the wood. The poles that jutted out from the corners of the bed were gracefully bowed, then turned to look like thin almost greek-like pillars, and at the top, instead of cloth as the canopy, an almost masculine, wood arch covered the bed, protecting it from damage. The comforter was silk in a dark blue, coming in to evenly placed buttons that gave it a simply _heavenly _look to it. The sheets that protruded slightly under were a paisley design, but it was all warm colors, red, brown, yellow, and the contradiction added a very stylish overall feel. In the center of the room held a brazilian cherry wood fireplace, but oddly enough, the fire was burning. Showcased in front of it was a small, victorian style couch in a dark, blood red, and the throw pillows, matching the bed sheets, were the same paisley design and fabric. The fire cast an eery glow to the atmosphere, and accentuated the perplexing, yet oddly alluring room. Every corner held shadows that highlighted the curves and edges of the furniture. Standing on it's own, on the side of the room, was a large mahogany wardrobe, that hit the ceiling and the floor at a perfect height. At the right of the wardrobe was a nail, obviously showing where a picture used to hang previously. Elena opened the door completely, fully allowing herself inside. The walls were an almost yellow creme color, fresh and distinct on the walls. She gaped openly and uncontrollably at the room once again, looking out on the terrace at the civil, cool twilight that descended upon the outskirts of Mystic Falls. The separating doors were lined with cherry wood, and the glass shone like diamonds, glistening in the last amount of daylight the earth had to offer. On each side of the terrace were large Victorian windows that allowed access to the outside world and the property line of the Salvatore mansion and the maze and gardens out back.

With a smile, Elena knew who the room belonged to.

Peculiar, it even _smelled_ like Damon. Musk, flowers, sweet liquor and the faintest trace of cinnamon was carried to her nose. She walked around slowly, and instead of collecting things for Damon, she observed the room, feeling oddly at home. She didn't pay any mind to the fact that the fire was lit, or that there was a small glass of brandy laid sloppily on the mahogany coffee table in front of the couch. Elena didn't pay any mind to the fact that the room was too fresh, too clean to be untouched for more than a century, that _someone _must have put in long hours and days of effort to keep it this lovely. She continued to walk around, her dainty feet grazing the oriental carpet that was lined before the bed.

Elena's attention was then called to the wardrobe lining the wall opposite the terrace. She walked to it hesitantly, and slowly, cautiously, opened it. There was a series of loose shirts, trousers and slacks, small, worn down special occasion shoes and dirty, obviously frequently used boots trailed with mud. There were also many hats, to Elena's surprise, as well as a drawer dedicated to neck ties and handkerchiefs that reminded Elena briefly of ascots. Elena giggled at the thought of Damon dressed oddly like Hugh Hefner, pretty girls lined all around him dressed in skimpy clothes; it wasn't too far off the mark. There were many vests, black ones as well as looping patterns and beautiful designs that branched off of the center and continued to line the fabric. Damon also had many coats as well as dress jackets, made of the softest silk and the coziest cotton. Elena openly smelled the clothes, and shut her eyes in contentment. It had the "Damon" aroma. She looked farther into the wardrobe to find more, but was met with a distressing sight. A light blue coat with golden buttons and golden lines was showcased secretly in the back, hidden from whoever was to take a quick glance in the closet.

How was it that Elena was always the one the find the things that Damon tried so hard to hide?

It wasn't stained with blood, as most Confederacy uniforms would be, but instead clean as if it was hardly worn. With the way it was secluded, Elena would have guessed that the uniform was a disgrace to Damon, which would make perfect sense considering that he left early to be with Katherine. He was a disgrace to his family in that sense, but did it wound his pride to see?

She wouldn't allow herself to dwell on the subject any longer, seeing as it was too saddening to dwell on. Elena walked over to the bed hesitantly, then laid the boxes that were at her feet on the bed, and quickly grabbed the only thing occupying them. She quickly went back to the right side of the wardrobe wall, then hung the picture of Alessandra Salvatore, showcasing it.

With that, the terrace doors swung open with an unnatural wind, not nearly startling Elena. It didn't bother Elena when she felt the presence behind her, or the man closing the distance between them as she faced the wall. She didn't mind him gracefully swinging his long, muscular arms around her petite frame, or the way she could almost _feel _the smirk, tinged with sadness, slide easily onto his face.

The terrace doors shut again, and all was still.

The man nestled his head into Elena, and she felt her legs lose feeling. She reacted to him, strangely enough, and he reacted to her.

They both shuddered with pleasure and the man's hold on Elena became the smallest bit tighter. There was no seduction, and that made him even more appealing to her.

Elena realized that he wasn't there for any ulterior motive, he was there because he _wanted _to be there. To stand with her and indulge in their hidden, sick pleasures. He leaned in close, his breath tickling her neck and raising goose bumps along her flesh.

"You like my room?" Damon breathed into her ear.

* * *

**O.O!**

**cliffhanger!**

**Silly me, why would I do that? Again, I am sorry if the characters were out of character, I just couldn't help it : )**

**Also, I indulged in my inner artist a little bit, this chapter took A LOT of research, and Damon's room was probably my favorite to write, were you expecting it to be him in the end? And also, the fact that Elena could feel his presence before she even entered the room, feeling as though she had to knock. I am thinking of doing DAMON POV next chapter, he has the memories of Katherine saying she didn't love him, yadda yadda yadda. I hope you enjoyed this, I don't even have a pattern for posting anymore, inspiration hits when it hits. Oh, and I didn't know the mother's name, so I had to make it up. I hope you liked the John closure, Jeremy isn't done though. Sorry : /**

**Okay, like, no like, I think this was one of my favorite chapter to write, I love writing with John and stuff, and introducing new surroundings, so I hope it wasn't TOO incredibly boring.**

**Sheesh ya'll, twas a dream!**

**-Taylor 3**


	4. Ulterior Motives

**Howdy! Again, I write my chapters when inspiration strikes, so bear with a very odd schedule.**

**I don't own TVD**

**And another thing... I know that the flashbacks are boring when we COULD be getting to some sweet DE lovin, trust me, I know. But, they are essential to the story and very important to revealing the past days and where everyone will be set for this story and so on. So you do have to bear with that fact and just move on, because we have a very emotional one for Damon today, because this chapter is focusing on him. And he is snarky and heartbroken as ever.**

**This chapter is much much longer, I really couldn't resist a longer chapter (it is double the length of every other one, almost 10,000 words). After all, it's Damon and Elena's REAL interaction scene. I have been working on it FOREVER! like, completely thinking through every single thing, trying to put them in character, also deal with the dialogue I was given from actual footage from season two promos. Seriously, the promos are amazing, you have to see them.**

**The beginning of this chapter takes place seconds before he walks into his old room, and he's... well, you have to read to find out!**

**On to the reading!**

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

'_what the hell am I doing?'_ Damon thought pathetically, leaving his room for the second time that evening, pacing back and forth on the outskirts of the forest. He had been out there for thirty minutes just talking himself in and out of returning to his newly redone room. But he was sick with it, he never wanted to see it again... _'this will just arouse more and more memories of...'_ Damon had to stop dead in his tracks and swallow the tears that were threatening to overflow any second. But he was Damon, Damon didn't cry.

That was just a final goodbye. He lit the fireplace, drank sloppily out of his usual glass of brandy, tried to make it seem like home. He was saying goodbye to the room he spent endless nights working on just for...

"Katherine..." Damon finished his thoughts, a broken whisper and sobbed mixed as one.

_'Maybe I should just go back to the house, let the fire put itself out, get away...'_ Damon resolved internally, not wanting to bring up any emotionally traumatizing things for himself. As he began to turn himself around (seeing as he didn't bother taking a car, just walked back and forth from the room to the woods to the house and back... to clear his head, of course) he smelled a familiar aroma eminating from his room, he was too engaged in his own troubles to notice before, and it smelled like dark chocolate, an unidentifiable, bitter sweetness (possibly honey?), and the herb vervain.

It smelled like desolation.

It smelled like Elena.

Damon was then in a mad rush to get to the house, the "Elena" scent also intertwined with another scent. It was what seemed to be cologne, clean cut, and the faintest smell only the sharpest nose could identify as bitter animal blood. Damon didn't know _what _Stefan was doing in the house with Elena, he cringed thinking of the possibilities, and his pace rapidly increased until he was facing the back door of the manor.

"This is my house, damn it" Damon mumbled, but he still couldn't gather the courage to just bound in there, not after spending so many nights dreaming of sleeping with one delicate, deadly figure in his arms in there... He shook his head rapidly and wiped his face in a pathetic attempt to wipe away his insecurities. But he was Damon, Damon didn't have insecurities.

"It's only because I don't want to be caught, that's all," Damon pitiably uttered, grunting and wincing in pain as he climbed up the side of his house to land on the balcony laying outside his room. Elena's scent became closer, and Damon worked his way up even faster, in a desperate attempt to see _why _her scent was becoming so distinct. _'She's in Stefan's room, obviously. It's right near mine, that makes perfect sense...' _But Damon knew how truly and sincerely he wished that she _wasn't _in St. Stefan's room, _'Does she just _have _to see his numerous hunting awards?' _Damon thought sarcastically. It was good he was getting back into the groove of things, life moved on, after all... But he was Damon, Damon didn't move on.

As he advanced the terrace, the scent became even more pleasurable, the sweetness almost _unbearable, _and he closed his eyes, inhaling the scent he had missed so much. Seeing her with his brother, of course it would kill him, but he would swallow his pride and give a sarcastic remark earning a glare from Stefan and a rueful smile from Elena. That tiny smile would bring his walls collapsing down, and he would feel bare and alone, falling into her eternally loving brown eyes. But he was Damon, Damon didn't pay any mind to insignificant humans.

He continued to his room, hearing someone moving around in it, and Damon was angered by the thought of someone in it. He landed on the platform, and suddenly, looking into it from the shadows of the balcony, Damon didn't mind.

The twilight became as beautiful as it had once been, his room as glorious as the queen's, the last amount of sunlight giving his body warmth rather than an uncomfortable, nauseating feeling. Everything was as magnificent as before all the pain and sadness, glowing in it's recovered glory because all of his troubles were gone, all of his sins were insignificant because his heaven, his _home _was salvaged. A single rose protruding from the dead earth that Damon had created for himself, because his enemy, his apathy, vanished. Because in the presence of his _home_, he felt substantial, _important._

In other words, she was _there._

The sight he found was as breathtaking and beautiful as the brown eyes he loved so much. It was dark, chocolate brown hair, cascading down small, weak, but independent shoulders. Facing the uniform Damon had hidden in the back of his wardrobe. He could feel her warmth emanating from outside the doors, him still hidden in the shadows as he observed her. His home. She breathed a sudden gasp that would be inaudible to anyone but a vampire... or a guy with _really _big ears, as an idea obviously glowed in her features. As she turned for his bed, he felt the sudden urge to lay her down in it, silencing her troubles and worries with kisses, loving her because she was the only friend he had left. But he was Damon, he didn't have any friends.

Her hair covered her face like a dark veil, and then, more than ever, did she truly _look _like his princess of darkness. She searched in the empty boxes, oh, _almost _empty boxes, and grabbed the one object occupying them. A small, rectangle... picture? Why one earth would she put a picture on _his..._

_Oh._

Alessandra Salvatore was then showcased proudly to the right of his wardrobe, and Damon felt his resolve shatter into tiny fragments, it shattered just like his heart once had. In his ecstasy, he through open the doors with lightening speed, and was behind Elena in the blink of an eye. He wanted to startle her, then to see her relieved face as she realized it was him. Damon would then feel overjoyed, euphoric even, realizing that she didn't fear him, that she was relieved to see him, even. But he was Damon, and Damon didn't get what he wanted.

She didn't turn, her heart beat didn't even quicken, because she knew. She always does. He wanted to gain _some _reaction out of her, to make her pulse quicken as it had before, and he wrapped his arms around her. What he _didn't _suspect, was that he would react, too.

His body reacted to hers, it was that simple.

He tried to throw on a casual smirk, in all honesty he did, but it was tinged with the bitter sadness and _hell _he had been living with for the past few days. Ever since thursday, the night of the founders events... But he was Damon, Damon didn't dwell on irrelevant things.

They both, surprisingly, shuddered at each others grasp, and Damon felt himself become even _more _joyful.

He leaned into her, inhaling her, before he whispered what he _hoped _was seductively, came out vulnerably, "You like my room?"

She scoffed pathetically, and turned to face him, their faces within the closest proximity they had ever been. Damon craved for her, hungered for her, but not for her blood, no not that at all. He wanted her to be his. To forever be his home, holding his heart near her own for the rest of eternity, together. But he was Damon, Damon was never loved in return.

Her eyes held a hint of confusion for a moment, then she smiled weakly to him, and awkwardly stumbled out of his grasp, "It's beautiful" she murmured lightly, not releasing his hand although she and him were out of their previous positions. Damon looked down at their intertwined hands, confusion etched in his features, and he swallowed with much difficulty.

Elena absolutely adored seeing that side of him, because she knew it was _hers. _This side of him, it showed her what he could've been, and it broke her heart all at once.

Damon managed to keep his composure, and with much struggle, threw the smirk back on his face, "Blow's Stefan's out of the water, right?"

Elena chuckled shortly, "shut up."

"You don't have to say it, I already know, that brooding John Travolta has nothing on me-" Damon was cut off short by the sight of Elena smiling brightly, tears shining in her eyes. She was... everything. Elena was everything. But he was Damon, Damon didn't deserve everything.

They stood just gazing at each other for a moment, the rest of the world being deemed insignificant.

"I missed you..." She murmured, her eyes finally turning to his once again, before she turned away and broke both of their hearts with the movement, "But can I ask you something?"

"Already did," Damon attempted to joke, still silently pleading for her eyes to return to his, to lock once again and feel as though he deserved happiness.

She rolled her eyes at him, and she openly studied him, begging him silently to answer honestly.

"Of course you can," Damon caved, simply content with the fact that Elena was looking at him again, looking at him with those eyes that made him feel as though nothing else in the world could be more flawless, more perfect, more _important_ than her looking at him.

She walked to the couch for a moment, and then decided against sitting down, but instead looked to him, her eyes looking desperate and lost, "Tell me, why have you been coming to this house?"

"Feeling a tad nostalgic?" Damon offered, wondering if she would allow that as an answer.

Obviously not. She glared, but the heat in her eyes, the intensity, was from something other than anger, something else entirely...

"It was originally for... K-Katherine, for me and her to... relive our memories" Damon looked at the bed dejectedly, his voice barely rising above a whisper, a breath, but Elena still heard. She always heard him, "then it was... just to get away for a moment. When I couldn't sleep in the house because..." Damon broke off, then.

"Because why?" Elena breathed, almost certain she knew the answer.

He turned to her, tears in his eyes. The light of the fire only embellished Elena's beautiful features, making her look purely angelic in the dark room, and breaking Damons heart even further because he couldn't wrap her in his arms and hold her there forever, "because of you, Elena."

She simply nodded, understanding. It was too painful for him to be there, with her loving Stefan... loving him so dearly. A love Damon yearned for. A sob broke from Elena's lips unintentionally, and she tried to swallow it back, "I see... another question... this place, what do you call it?"

Damon was not confused by her question, but he still remarked sarcastically, "the bachelor pad?" She was not amused, so he answered honestly this time, too tired and lovesick to give a good enough distraction, "my house"

Elena wasn't satisfied, that wasn't what she wanted to know, wanted to ask him. She decided to lead him further into the question. She couldn't just say it, she just didn't know how... "and you said that I'm... your home," the next part lacked her bravery, her spark, and was barely above a breath, "what do you mean by that?"

Damon looked at her longingly, torn to shreds by her absolutely abandoned look, then slowly walked to her still figure, her eyes going round as he continued to walk closer, and closer still, until they were separated only by their will. Their will not to cross the line, to be strong and fight, seeing as they were both incredibly too stubborn. Damon's eyes wandered to Elena's arms that laid pathetically at her sides. He reached down to her left hand, and he felt her pulse quicken at this movement.

"Home is where..." Damon began, fumbling with Elena's loose hand that was trembling so lightly. He looked into her eyes with the next movement, and pulled her in even tighter to him, until even the slightest breath could put their bodies in contact with each others, and who knew what would result if they allowed that to happen?

Damon then laid her hand over the left side of his chest, and to her surprise, she felt nothing. No beat, nothing. Nothing other than the electric shock and adrenaline that surged through her when she touched him. She looked at him, startled, and in that moment, he took his left hand and laid it over her chest, where he could feel the beat increase rapidly.

"...the heart is." Damon finished, leaning his head in for a moment, but left it there, in such close proximity to Elena. He basked in the glow of _Elena, _not feeling anyone else. Not Katherine, but _his _Elena. They stayed there, their eyes shut, reveling in the beauty of the moment. Her hand over his still heart, his hand over her beating one, and they didn't say a word. Their soft breathing filled the room, and it was like a simple, beautiful music. It filled Elena from the very core, and she felt him. She felt his heart with hers, and she held it close to her, letting it replenish the depths of her soul. She wrapped her slender hand over Damon's that laid over her heart, and her grasp became even tighter on him. But he was Damon, Damon didn't have a heart.

"I understand," Elena whispered into the still air, the depths of it being revealed in the silent room, "one more..."

Damon opened his eyes then, and for the smallest of moments, when he looked into her eyes, he felt all of his walls dissolve, looking at her. He knew that he needed her, more than he could ever admit to even himself, and the love shown in his pure blue eyes, and he knew Elena saw. Her heart beat quickened again, looking at him, and Damon never felt more loved than in that moment. She was irresistible, his heaven and his hell, and essentially, his death. He covered himself again, feeling terribly exposed and vulnerable, and he... pulled away.

Elena felt tremendously cold without him near, and shut her eyes tightly as Damon refused to watch her pain, "what?" he demanded coldly, facing the wall, not being able to bear _seeing _her... seeing all her warm beauty.

She looked incredibly hurt by his attitude, and her flame was lit once again, "this," she began angrily, "this... shutting yourself away every time I get..." she trailed off, and he realized that she approached him, looking defiant. She grabbed his hand boldly, and watched it with those torn, confused eyes that Damon cherished so much, "...close to finding out who you are-"

"Who I _used_ to be" Damon interjected stiffly, not bothering to pull his hand away, he still wanted her warmth no matter if he was looking at her or not.

"_No_," Elena tightened her grasp on his hand, and laced his fingers with hers, "who you _are..._" She didn't look up at him as she spoke, she just fiddled with their fingers, they felt so incredibly _right _together, and Damon would never admit how much that meant to him. Elena swallowed, still staring at their interwoven fingers, "You think that if you hide... that no one will find you."

"No one would look"

"That is not true," Elena retorted defiantly, finally looking up into his eyes, his soul. Damon looked at her incredulously, challenging her silently. She confidently brought their interlocked hands up, showing him their connection, "_I_ would. You think that if you hide that no one will see you..." She trailed off, waiting for Damon's gaze to return to her. She spoke with... anger? No, she wasn't angry, but what was it? She spoke with a fierce passion, trying desperately to _make _him see. She brought his wandering eyes back to hers, using her free hand to grab his chin and pull his head towards her.

Damon simply didn't have the will power to look away.

"But _I _would... I stillsee you," She let her hand drop from his face, but brought their united hands closer to her, and closer, still. Damon watched, all the while finding it was harder to breath as she turned their hands around so the front of his hand was facing her. She took her free hand and put it over theirs, then Damon observed her with labored breathing, trying desperately to understand, to not let her know how much she effected him.

Then, soft as a butterfly, light as the landing of a fallen rose petal, she kissed his hand, as he had kissed hers those many nights ago. She turned his hand with her free hand, and repeated the action, brushing her lips like a caress over his palm. Her nose traced an invisible trail over his life line, as if she was reading it, and it stopped short when the line did. She let out a small breath on his hand and it made Damon shake. She repeated it again and again, "_I still see you_"

"I know" Damon gasped, basking in her beauty and tenderness.

"And don't you forget it" She whispered, repeating what she had said all those weeks ago, setting Damon's heart on fire. The warmth was nice, but it also hurt, like a burn he would never be rid of. A ghost of a smile gracing her features, remembering the happenings of that night when she reveled in saving him, Damon came to the conclusion that in that moment, in an odd way she was saving him all over again. She _saw_ him, which was more than he could ever ask for. She was beautiful, inside and out, and Damon had never seen someone so... perfect.

She closed her eyes, lost in the intimacy of the moment, and Damon watched her, perplexed and calmed and completely _assured _in that moment, that she was indeed _his. _Even if she couldn't see, she was _his. _Even if she _never _saw, she would always be _his. _At Stefan and Elena's wedding, Damon would shut his eyes and for just a moment, he would allow himself the masochistic pleasure of _pretending _she was walking to _him, _that she would forever be... _his._

But he was Damon, Damon was never the one chosen.

"I have a question, and I _need _an answer, Damon," Elena pleaded, finally, agonizingly, released his hand. Damon dropped it to his side, feeling as though his hand would forever feel empty, without... hers. He stood there silently, and she continued, "please."

That was always what killed Damon, the fact that one simple word could make him do whatever Elena wanted. The fact that she seemed vulnerable, scared, _alone, _when she would whisper that one word to him, and his world would fall apart at the thought, the _tiny thought, _that she was unhappy. He simply wouldn't have it, because she said _'please'_. What did she want from him, exactly? And why couldn't he turn away once she used that single word? "Okay" Damon uttered, looking away, and taking a step back. They were still very close together, but his will power only allowed him _one _step.

Elena hesitated, then crossed her arms self consciously, and she looked... afraid. Damon didn't want that, he never wanted that. He returned his eyes to hers, begging her to ask silently. She returned his look, then decided that she needed to ask. Gathering a shaky breath, she asked the question that had been plaguing her for the past excruciating days without Damon near.

"What happened with you and Katherine?"

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

_Shortly after Elena walked to her room, Damon stood there uncomfortably, shuffling on the staircase from foot to foot. He had checked her room, but something seemed off about it, it just didn't seem like... Elena._

_But the odd thing was, that their shared kiss just minutes before didn't either. Damon shook the thought from his head, it was everything he could have asked for, she kissed him back! He should be throwing a party that would put New Years to shame. Drinking, dancing, and... kissing, forever pressing his lips against Elena's... but oddly, it just didn't seem right. It tasted almost... bitter? Almost like a hateful vengeance that belonged to a vampire he once knew, but who was it? Who had tasted like that? 'It could have been anyone' Damon reassured himself internally. He looked to Stefan, who had been staring at the wall dejectedly ever since Elena decided that she would rather go to her room than be with Stefan. _

_Another strange thing was, Elena didn't even discuss the kiss. It was definitely out of character, her simply walking away, pretending nothing happened. Elena was a talker, one of the many things Damon liked about her. God knows, she was no Caroline, but she believed that talking could solve any problem life has to offer._

_Then again, it was out of character for her to kiss him back, now wasn't it?_

_That was it, Damon wiped his head and headed towards the bloody kitchen, fully prepared to clean it up, but then he realized he had a perfectly good lackey near._

_Grabbing a mop, and handing it to Stefan, Damon said, "Get to work. Jenna's sleeping and I don't think the best time for a midnight snack would be when she slips on the blood on her kitchen floor..." Damon trailed off when he noticed Stefan's panicked look towards the kitchen. Damon understood, though, he wasn't ready for the blood. He could fall off the wagon any second, and, well, that wasn't going unnoticed by Damon, "Oh... I see the addict is having some doubts... Whatever" Damon grabbed the mop and slowly headed towards the kitchen. In a matter of seconds, Damon was done, and he called Stefan into the kitchen afterwards. _

_Stefan walked in hesitantly, fully prepared to book it out the door in case Damon was _trying _to put him back on his human blood binge. He was pleasantly surprised when it was entirely clean, and then scoffed when he found Damon with a bottle of wine in his hand._

_"Not necessarily my thing, Pinot Grigio, but it will do for now." Damon remarked sarcastically to Stefan's puzzled look._

_Stefan laughed shortly, but it didn't last because he was going to go the 'reverend' route, by speech-ing him out of drinking, "Wow, Damon, one of the only times you do the right thing, and you ruin it by getting yourself drunk-"_

_That was it, "Stefan, are you naive by _choice _or are you just an idiot?" Damon seethed. Stefan looked shocked and moderately hurt at his statement._

_"What?"_

_"You are a vampire, okay?" Damon nearly yelled, "you aren't and you will never _be _the saint you were supposed to be! You think you are so wonderful because you don't feed on humans, and that is just," Damon gave Stefan a mocking thumbs up sign, "great, Stefan, that is just great. But you think that you are the only person on this whole freaking planet who understands what it means to do 'the right thing'. Well maybe you're wrong! Maybe the right thing isn't when you know you won't get anything out of it! Maybe, Stefan, there is a way to change for _someone. _To do the right thing for _someone. _Knowing that what you get out of it will be _them, _and them only. You know, maybe I don't do the right thing but what I do, every move that I make, I do it for love! So what if I don't do it because I know I won't get anything in return, you aren't always St. Bernard, either! What you do, you do it for Elena, you do it for her... love. You do what you do because in return you know that... you know that if you deny who you are, if you push it away for long enough, that you will get to hold Elena every night until the day she... dies." The next part Damon nearly whispered, pained by the truth of it all, "That when you do that good deed, maybe she will look at you like you're... her savior, her salvatore. That maybe when you hold her late at night, and she sighs your name... that those good deeds were to get that moment of happiness that we-" Damon cut off abruptly, realizing his nearly fatal mistake, "_you _want so badly"_

_Stefan merely stared at him, shocked, hurt, but understanding dawned on him when Damon said 'we' instead of 'you'. "You feel for her-"_

_"I can assure you brother, it's more than just me..." Damon left the phrase hanging, leaving Stefan to interpret it._

_"What?" Stefan nearly choked, trying to sound nonchalant... well, as nonchalant as Stefan could be._

_Damon didn't want to tell him, not until Elena broke it off with him for good, but the opportunity was too good to resist, "I _kissed... _Elena" Damon stated slyly._

_"What do you mean you kissed?" Stefan asked, clutching the counter for support._

_This was too good, just such a beautiful opportunity, "two lips pucker and they..." Damon trailed off, making a puckering noise and rubbing his two hands together to represent him and Elena._

_"And are you sure?" Stefan gasped, veins protruding slightly from under his eyes._

_"Oh," Damon hit his head lightly, "You're right, I'm not sure actually, I must have imagined the whole thing... hey, is that a unicorn behind you?" Damon asked, trying to prove his point by gesturing behind Stefan._

_Stefan lost it, then, running towards him at top vampire speed, but Damon was quicker, and moved into the living room before Stefan could process where Damon went, "it's the obvious Stefan" Damon mocked gleefully._

_They didn't stop the mocking and the joking when they heard light, panicked steps, descend the staircase. They both looked up, Stefan obviously struggling to hide his 'vampy-ness', but Damon was relentless, as was Stefan. Elena rounded the corner, holding a small rectangular card in her hand, eyes panicked and watering. Elena then looked shocked at the two of them fighting, and ran between them, eyes still on the verge of tears, but threw her arms up between them._

_"Stop!" Elena nearly sobbed. Damon would usually want to run to her and throw her in his arms, comfort her, but for the strangest reason... he didn't feel the urge to. He shrugged it off, still feeling painfully concerned and hurt when she ran straight to Stefan's arms. She sobbed into his shoulder and he rubbed her head comfortingly. Damon gagged at the sight and downed his 'Brooks Brothers' wine even faster. Elena showed Stefan the card, and gathered herself._

_"It's from...K-Katherine" Elena sobbed. It was her picture, the identical one Damon and Stefan had, covered in blood. Shit, how did Damon not see it coming? Katherine obviously compelled Jenna or Jeremy to let her in. Jeremy was probably wearing vervain, so it must have been Jenna. She got in, got Jeremy and John, and got out._

_If only he had been there to stake that bitch, if only he had the chance to see her before she got to Jenna..._

_Elena was suddenly all business, staring at Stefan concerned, "Katherine's in this house, that means she's been invited in, what are we going to do?"_

_The question was left hanging in the air, and Damon decided he would answer it. "move."_

_Elena looked at Damon, but... it was lacking her usual passion. It was so wrong. Maybe she was off because of the kiss..._

_"Damon, I need to speak with Stefan. He'll keep me safe tonight, you can go home."_

_Damon never felt so heartbroken as he did in that moment, looking at her, him unaware that his eyes were silently pleading to stay. Wordlessly he shrugged on his leather jacket and walked out the door, out into the cool night air, and let out a frustrated cry of rage..._

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"And little did I know, you were upstairs, unconscious, without your vervain necklace which... Katherine very cleverly put on after emptying it..." Damon continued his story, standing in front of the fireplace with brandy in his hand. Elena was sat in the victorian couch, listening intently. While Damon hadn't revealed the depth of his feelings, or, _any _of them, Elena still seemed to understand, still seemed to... know. He didn't tell her about the kiss, he just couldn't... bear it. He couldn't tell her, but she realized he was keeping... something from her. She realized that a large chunk of the story was missing, him giving lame excuses, saying that he pushed Stefan's buttons, which led them to fighting. Him thinking she was off because vampires could sense that, which she and he knew was a complete lie.

"Go on," Elena shifted uncomfortably, "what else made you close me out?"

Damon looked at Elena strangely, but she didn't shy away from her question. She wanted to know why he refused to talk to her, and damn it, she wanted to now that instant! She would never if he didn't continue, though.

Damon sat next to her, then, and set down his brandy. He looked at her earnestly, and spoke softly, "this next part, all I can say is... I'm sorry"

And with that, his story continued.

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_Damon reached the house, his fury having died out as he continued to walk, repeating to himself all the reasons she wouldn't seek comfort from Damon as well as Stefan, if not instead of him. 'Well, obviously she needed to act as if nothing happened. She'll be back to her regular self in no time, the Elena that I lo-'_

_Damon wouldn't allow himself to finish that sentence. Not internally, and there was no way in hell he would externally._

_He trudged up the steps of the boarding house, and suddenly felt the anger overcome him again. He hollered to no one in particular, kicking a potted plant. Well Stefan sure as hell wouldn't appreciate that. He would still clean up Damon's mess, though, as he always did._

_He went to kick open the door, break it, make Stefan get a new one, but it was already open... that was definitely odd. And, it took out a lot of fun for Damon, he really _did _want to kick down a door. He walked in cautiously, realizing the depth of the situation, and slowly rounded the corner. He didn't notice anyone sitting in the parlor, no one upstairs, and he headed to his bar._

_Damon stopped short when he noticed a small, delicate figure sitting in his chair, her soft brown locks cascading over the back of the seat. She was swirling his bourbon in a small glass. She turned to him, and he saw her dark brown doe eyes looking at him mischievously, the same eyes that belonged to Elena. The same beauty that belonged to Elena._

_If Damon's heart could beat, it would've stopped in that moment. His heart dropped at the sight of the woman he had sickeningly obsessed over finding for the past 145 years._

_Katherine._

_He tried his damnedest to sound nonchalant, but he couldn't help the way his heart shattered seeing her, "Katherine, what are you... why are you, why did-" Damon was stopped by a delicate hand lightly stopping his rambling mouth, his eyes held a hate so fierce it stopped Katherine in her tracks for a moment, but she regained momentum._

_"Did you miss me lover?" She whispered lustfully. _

_Damon tried, and utterly failed, at a smirk. He moved around her forcefully, pulled away from her cruel, dainty hand, and continued to the bar. He grabbed a bottle of bourbon, and walked towards the foyer. When he turned around to face Katherine, she wasn't there._

_He prayed to god that she had left due to his cold behavior. But no, Katherine was stubborn, if anything. He felt an unnatural wind behind him, and he turned around cautiously, dreading what he would see..._

_But Katherine just stood there, eyes wide and mouth quivering, looking like... like Elena. Like Elena the last time Damon saw her._

_"Now, now, Damon, your cold shoulder is like the icy tundra... are you blocking yourself off again? You know, our conversation an hour ago was much more pleasant. Why so mean?" She smirked cruelly._

_Damon froze at her words, dread washing over him like a current. What... conversation? _

_'Oh no, oh dear lord no. No way, she doesn't mean... She can't...' Damon thought desperately. _

_He looked at her, she could obviously see the panic etched in his features, and her smile turned sickeningly sweet. She walked over to him slowly, like a lioness, and gave him a raunchy look before reciting the words that would forever break Damon's heart..._

_"Somewhere along the way, you decided I was worth saving," Katherine stopped to look Damon dead in the eye, doing the 'eye-thing' that Elena despised, "and I wanted to... thank you... for that" Katherine remarked viciously, tearing her hand away from Damon's face, leaving a trail of electricity._

_Mortification and pure anguish filled Damon from within, his already dead heart shattering by the pure humiliation of it all. He had opened himself, made himself vulnerable, and Katherine had cruelly pretended to be the one that Damon... that Damon cared for most in the world._

_Damon's eyes watered and Katherine watched, obviously disgusted by his show of emotion, "You know, that kiss was shameful... so chaste and so..." she made sure to spit the last word at him, making it tear through him, "vulnerable... that was, until, Elena kissed back..." her laugh was sultry, mocking him and teasing him with what he _thought _he could have, "she doesn't feel the same way, lover, she proclaimed her love for Stefan, saying she only cared for you as a friend... too bad, you are incredible in the bedroom..."_

_Damon was at her throat in a second, his rage squeezing the life out of her. She merely giggled, "now, now, Damon, you don't want to end up like Stefan... when you refuse me, you pay..."_

_"What did you do to Stefan?" Damon seethed, his tone harsh and demanding._

_"Does it matter?" Katherine asked, not being affected by the hand at her throat, "Oh fine, he's fine, he's sleeping upstairs, he got the message. You on the other hand... you have been rather naughty, you have to be punished... you know Damon, you kissed me once tonight, but it lacked the fire that you usually kiss girls with..." Katherine forcefully grabbed Damon's hand and pried it away from her neck, barely flinching, barely using any energy, "I would like a proper kiss now."_

_Before Damon had a chance to object, be was being thrown on the ground, and Katherine had collapsed on top of him, silencing him with her lips._

_Suddenly, it became a game, them pinning each other to the wall, kissing each other madly, and Damon used the opportunities whenever they came to ask her questions. "Why are you back?" He had asked, gaining no answer, rather a pin against the fire place and an angry, passionate kiss. "Why didn't you find me?" again was received with a very unladylike groan and Damon laying her down on the table to kiss her neck roughly, leaving bite marks. "Why, Katherine?" Damon demanded. Katherine replied with a, "You talk too much."_

_Damon pinned her against the wall, kissing her ferociously, "Please, I just need the truth, just once."_

_Katherine sighed and forcefully slammed Damon off of her, gathering herself, preparing for... something... "Damon..."_

_"Katherine," Damon laid his hands on either side of her face and it didn't seem... right. He ignored the feeling inside of him, "it's okay, just tell me the truth"_

_Katherine leaned her head into his hand and said the words that would forever shatter his heart..._

_"The truth is... I've never loved you" she said with just the tiniest bit of remorse._

_Damon stared at her, not truly registering, his face a mixture of shock, defeat, agony, and betrayal. His hands fell limply to his sides, "out." he whispered, his voice breaking._

_"What?" Katherine asked incredulously._

_"I SAID OUT!" Damon screamed, pointing to the door. He knew she would leave. She smirked cruelly and walked halfway by him, then called back to him._

_"I'll see you later, Damon" She seethed seductively._

_She was gone in a second, and Damon walked to the side end table, grabbing a glass. He held it for a moment, at first thinking of drowning his sorrows in alcohol, when he suddenly threw it at the wall, it shattering into a million pieces, much like his heart..._

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"I... I wasn't strong enough to resist..." Damon choked out, his voice tinged with shame, "it had been 145 years, and I just... I loved her like a fool. How could I possibly, how could I be strong enough to..." Damon faded off, his voice near tears, "but I was just a toy, and it was truly Stefan that she wanted... it's _always _Stefan"

Elena knew he had done nothing wrong, however she couldn't help but feel... betrayed by his fooling around with Katherine. Down to her core, betrayal flooded through her, it surged through her body and made it impossible to breathe. A single tear managed to slip down her face, but before Damon could notice, Elena wiped it away, mortified at her reaction. She reached for Damon's hand momentarily, but thought better of it. She still knew that something was missing, though, that there was something that Damon wasn't telling her. She hardly believed that Katherine had simply tempted him, and when he walked away she pushed him down and kissed him. Damon was strong enough, Elena knew that, but something must have weakened him... "you're lying" Elena whispered, feeling pained at his dishonesty.

Damon looked up at her, tears in his eyes, and his smirk was miserable, "how did you know?" he mumbled, embarrassed.

"I know you," Elena replied equally as heartbroken, she grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes, searching for the truth, "now tell me... what really happened that night?"

Damon looked down at their hands and pulled his away, Elena was left staring at the couch dejectedly, "that bad" she breathed, fearing what could have happened.

Damon scoffed harshly and looked back at her, his eyes cold and filled with a thousand different emotions, most of them pure anguish... And yet his eyes still wandered to her lips, looking at them as though he... hungered. Damon tore his gaze away from those beautiful lips painfully, and he played out the millions of scenarios in which he told her, most of them ending with a hard slap to the face, or a disgusted look that tore him to shreds as she walked out the door... He turned back to see her staring at him, looking defeated, when she said the one word that killed Damon every time.

"Please."

Damon felt the tears start to fall, and he tried desperately to hide them, "...okay," he whispered, his voice breaking, "after the founders events... I went to Jeremy, trying to help him, trying to do the 'right' thing, offering to compel him..." Elena watched Damon struggle internally, and it crushed her to realize that she couldn't help him... but Damon continued, "he asked about being a vampire and I had no idea he wanted... anyways, I explained that life... life is hard either way you live it, but shutting off your emotions makes it easier to get through it. He asked if I did and I told him the truth... that I didn't, that I don't."

"Why?" Elena pleaded, sincerely needing the answer.

"Feeling... feeling is the only way I know it is actually _real"_

_'I wanted it to be real'_

"And..." Damon then peered at Elena, silently begging her to understand, "I have something worth feeling for."

Elena swallowed, desperately trying to understand what he was saying, but it just wasn't registering in her head, she wasn't making sense of the words he was saying. "Go on," Elena inquired dreadfully, "what else?"

Damon continued on fearfully, "I went downstairs and as I walked out the door I... saw you, standing there with your dress..." Damon trailed off, then, unsure of how to continue.

Elena realized then, that was the moment. He saw Katherine. He thought it was Elena, "oh my god..." Elena gasped, her hand flying to her mouth instinctively.

"Elena..." Damon remained strong, finally giving her the truth. Damon would not lie to her, never to Elena, "the reason Stefan and I were fighting was because... I told him that we kissed"

Elena felt warmth spread to her cheeks, and instead of a disgusted look, she looked... shocked, at most. Damon couldn't believe how well she was taking it, and it filled him with warmth and... hope. Damon's eyes lit with masochistic belief, and Elena's bravery gave him the strength to carry on, "and with Katherine, she got upset when she heard me _open up_ to... you. To her. She didn't like the fact that I... told her my deepest darkest secrets, the ones that were always meant for... _you_"

The next words lingered in the air, filling the room with a heat and fire and _intensity _that made it difficult to breathe, "I thought it was you..." Damon looked to Elena, his eyes filled with passion and an eternal sadness, and then his gaze fixed on the ground, "I _wish _it was you."

Elena couldn't breathe. It just wasn't possible, it was never... no. Why wasn't she stopping him, setting him straight and turning her back, walking into Stefan's arms... why couldn't she find the will to make the madness end... why was she getting herself in so deep? She wanted to know, _needed _to know, what was said. It was the only way she could ever move on. She _had _to. Elena gathered a shaky breath, and stood in front of Damon, her face brave, but her heart petrified, "what did you say to... to Katherine" She moved her eyes along the room, "what did you need to say to _me?"_

Damon shook his head abruptly, and looked at her incredulously, "I can't, Elena, I can't..." Damon whispered, his heart shattering at her hopeless expression, "can't you see that? If I tell you... there's no going back"

Elena gazed at him, then brought her shaky hand up. She took her pointer finger, and gingerly traced it over his heart, fearing it would break any second, "I don't care, Damon. You tell me _exactly _what you said to Katherine. You said it was at night, right?" Elena didn't wait for an answer, and she wordlessly walked to the fireplace and used the emergency bucket of water set by it to put out the fire. The night covered the room swiftly, like a dark blanket, and Elena stumbled her way back to him, and she faced him defiantly, not accepting 'no' as an answer anymore.

Illuminated by only the newly unveiled moonlight, Damon had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. He was done with resisting, done with flirting with temptation, and he licked his lips and swallowed, ready to crush his own heart, "Katherine asked what I was doing, and I told her that I failed in a feeble attempt to do the right thing..."

Elena realized that they had begun, and she pushed away her fear and allowed herself to live the moment, "and what was that?" Elena whispered.

Damon looked at her painfully, a rueful smile playing at the edge of his lips, "that's not important... I came to this town wanting to destroy it, and now I find myself wanting to protect it... how does that happen?" Damon didn't allow Elena to intervene, but continued, "I'm not a hero, Elena, I don't do good, it's not... in me"

Elena's brows knit together in considerate frustration, "yes, it is" She contradicted softly.

"no, that's reserved for my brother... you, Bonnie. Even though she has every reason to hate me she still helped Stefan... save me." He whispered incredulously.

"Of course they saved you," Elena whispered intently, "why are you so surprised?"

Damon flinched at the similarities of what her and Katherine said, but then stared at her, swallowing the lump rising in his throat. He gasped in anticipation, realizing that this was the moment that... that killed him. He turned away, but felt a soft hand pull his arm back, whispering softly, "Damon... Why are you surprised"

When she looked at him like that, that was when he felt strong again, when he felt like nothing could ever hurt him. No amount of vervain, no amount of wooden stakes to the heart, nothing. "Because she did it for you," the most beautiful and embarrassed look of acceptance washed over her features, and her eyes widened for a moment. She turned her eyes away from his and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Damon continued, shaking like a small child, "which means that somewhere along the way, you decided I was worth saving" Elena looked back to him at this, and smiled the tiniest smile known to man, her eyes flashing with remorse and... an eager desire that left as quick as it came. She knew what was coming, too. Damon refused to give up, then, his smile that returned was almost non-existant, "and I wanted to... thank you... for that"

Elena shut her eyes in confusion, acceptance, and... pleasure as Damon ducked his head in, slowly coming closer to her. Her breath caught in her throat as he was dangerously close to her then, and he abruptly moved his head to the side, softly, delicately, and passionately caressing her cheek with his lips.

Why didn't Elena feel as though that was enough?

Damon's head lingered there for a moment, and Elena knew exactly what was to come next... she felt her heart rate incline as he moved closer still, his lips almost reaching their destination, when...

"And you know what happened next," Damon whispered brokenly, attempting to pull away, "I should've known it wasn't you when she kissed me back-" Damon was caught off guard when a petite hand grabbed his arm and secured him back into his previous position. He gazed at Elena, utterly confound.

Why did Damon feel his heart fill with hope?

Elena's eyes were far off, looking at something that no one but her could see, her brows knit together in delicate confusion and... a look as though she wanted, she _needed, _more. Why did Damon feel his heart start to reassemble itself when Elena finally returned her warm brown eyes back to him, and she plunged into the depth of his icy blue eyes? Why did Damon allow himself the masochistic pleasure of pretending that Elena felt the same way for him that he did for her, when he knew he was wrong? Why did he feel as though he _wasn't _wrong, with the way her head began, ever so slowly, to incline towards his?

Why didn't Elena feel as though it was wrong when she pulled Damon back? Why didn't she feel guilty and nauseous as she looked into the eyes that held her captivated, and she noticed that those eyes weren't green, but blue? Why didn't Elena feel as though she wished Damon was Stefan? Why didn't Elena deny the fact that she and Damon were meant to be like this, like two souls that reunited in forbidden, passionate recognition of their other true half? Why didn't Elena turn her head away, rather than to keep leaning closer, and closer still, yearning the closeness, _needing _Damon's warmth, needing Damon everywhere, all around her? Why didn't Elena feel sick with the fact that Damon clouded her vision, making it all that she could see, breathe, the only thing that ran through her veins?

Why did Damon _have _to realize in that moment, when their lips were separated by the smallest of distances, that he wasn't good enough? Why did Damon feel insecurity wash over him, and wake him up? Why did he love Elena? Why did he become painfully aware of the fact that as the _only _person he loved, that she deserved more?

Why did Damon not want to go through with it, because he loved Elena with a pain that told him he would never be worth it, never be worth saving?

The distance was achingly small, yet too far away.

Why didn't Elena expect it when an unnatural wind opened her eyes, and she realized that she was alone?

The terrace doors were re-opened, the wind blowing through them strongly, doing little to comfort Elena in the fact that... Damon had run away from her. The tears that fell from Elena's eyes were silent, yet heart wrenching. Elena had never felt so cold.

Why didn't Elena expect her heart to break at that fact?

* * *

**You hate me, don't you?**

**I am so sorry, I know that this chapter was double the length, but I got to writing one night and the ideas just kept flowing from me, and they never stopped! Notice the fact that Damon's things said "Why _DID _Damon" and Elena's things said "Why _DIDN'T _Elena" hmmm...**

**could it be my tiny way of showing the person who IS in denial, just a teensy bit, and who isn't?**

**Okay, that was hella long, and I still have Stefan's chapter...fun. :/**

**haha, just kidding, I'm looking forward to Katherine tempting him. Okay, when you review I want you to say what your favorite part of the chapter was, because there were a lot that were completely FILLED with yummy DE. Oh, and if you haven't seen any of the Season 2 promos... some of this might be a little hard to understand, and again, I really REALLY hope this wasn't too O.O.C.**

**Tell me, was this wayyyyyy too off the mark to even be posted at all? I was incredibly scared to do the interaction, incredibly. So tell me, in all honesty, things that you thought I did good on, and if you think I did bad, tell me what I did bad on, okay?**

**Sheesh y'all, twas a dream!**

**-Taylor 3**


	5. Authors note, VERY important

Authors note: Hi guys!

Alright, I know you might have thought that I ALREADY had another chapter for you... sorry. Not yet, but in due time, and I am absolutely POSITIVE you will love the scene that I have planned for the next chapter. (hint, hint; it involves Elena dressing Damon... how many of your minds went to the gutter?)

But, first I had a couple questions for you. I had only intended in writing this until September 9th, (well, preferably the 8th, because the ninth is the premiere of season 2!) which means that this story will only have about ten chapters at most, (most likely seven or eight). Here is my dilemma, I am a big fan of open endings, things that you interpret any way and can debate over, (INCEPTION, DISCUSS) but not everyone likes that.

Here is the thing, Elena and Damon's story will never end, their passion for each other is too strong to ever burn out on it's own, like an eternal wildfire. It scorches and burns to the touch and leaves you breathless, it takes everything away. **I need to know now how you would like your ending.**

**Yes, I, as the author, am asking my readers and reviewers to TELL me **(leave a comment and review) **how they would like their ending, what they would enjoy in this story.** Jeremy is going to be cleared up in the next chapter, as well as when Katherine was with Stefan alone, and presumably, knocked him out ("okay fine, he's fine, he's upstairs sleeping" sleeping is the nice way for Katherine to put "I knocked his lights out").

I want to know what you would appreciate in this story, what side of Damon and Elena you would like to see, should Elena acknowledge her feelings? Should she bury them? Should she confront Damon so they can figure it out together? Should Stefan already know, and tell her that he can't be with another "Katherine" (I know that's OOC, but come on, this is just random ideas i'm throwing) I want to stay on my usually updated schedule of (roughly) once every three days, and that is why I need to know now.

Would you like Damon and Elena to have their happy ending? Would you like them to have to end it, once and for all (not likely, but I'm all ears!)? Do you think that I should kill Damon or Elena? Should the other one die too? ...that was a stretch.

What do you want? As a reader and a reviewer, what ending and MOST IMPORTANTLY, if you could see any scene from any time in their life, what would you want to see? **Flash forwards are just as possible as flash backs**. And, if you have an idea for a scene, one that isn't too OOC and I could easily form it into a deeper meaning kinda thing, I really want to know.

As an author, my only wish is to please you, that is all I want. That is the ultimate happiness for me. I know I will never make ALL of you happy, (unless you are some freakadelic united mass of people who all want the same exact thing) but I am going to try my damnedest.

Now, one last thing, I have been searching around for videos on youtube to show what my fan fiction story is, roughly. Almost like a trailer! I didn't have much faith when I was looking, but then I found three of the most spectacular videos that PERFECTLY explain the message I am trying to get across with this story! Hell, maybe you've seen them all, but re-watch them, then read a chapter. It's eerie.

**(ALL CREDIT GOES TO THE YOUTUBE VIDDERS, THEY ARE WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE WHO DESERVE A SUBSCRIPTION FROM ALL OF YOU)**

1. (NightlyEvilTM) "Damon&Elena- Anywhere but here" .com/watch?v=Ky-tmek6HUo (I am your biggest fan! NightlyEvilTM likes my story!)

2. (dominoesrising) "I will follow you into the dark (+Sab)" .com/watch?v=BW516sSH1iU (warning: may make you spontaniously combust)

3. (schokokeks1189) "You, always" .com/watch?v=6Eq8TToyvdQ (THIS IS YOUR FAULT *watch the video and you'll understand that*)

**How incredibly talented are those people? subscribe right away, subscribe!**

**(NightlyEvilTM, please don't be angry that I used your video as an example, I just loved it so dearly, and I couldn't resist, and... *breaks down into tears* gahh! sorry. If you absolutely hate the fact I used you as an example for this horrendous story, tell me, I will take this down immediately and re-upload it)**

**Alright guys, I need your help! *has flashbacks to Dora the explorer* umm, I mean I need your feedback!**

**what do you want? And more importantly, what do you NEED?**

**Sheesh ya'll, twas a dream!**

**-Taylor 3**


	6. Unexpected Truths

**Hi everyone! Are you ready for a REAL chapter?**

**I am dearly sorry for the fact that it is so late, I have been on vacation and I have had no time to update. Bad, I know, bad. But I have just gotten the kindest reviews and I don't want to let anybody down!**

**Okay, this chapter is going to be Stefan, he is going to get his moment with Katherine out of the way in a flashback, then we are going to have a character show up that has been missing for a rather large chunk in this story, but they have been mentioned.**

**And I figured out that I will have (including the Authors note) 10 chapters in this story. I know, I know, not a lot, but it's something and that is a guarantee! **

**I don't own TVD, now lets get to work!**

**Get yourselves prepared for the brooding forehead, okay? Okay, prepare... and...**

**READ!**

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He had been standing outside the door while it had happened, his vampire hearing allowing himself to perceive what they had been saying, and he didn't like it. Not one bit. They had been using low, intense, _passionate _voices, and it nearly broke Stefan's heart. They stopped talking for a moment, Stefan fearing the worst, then he heard an unusual breeze open the terrace doors for a moment.

Stefan had a moment of trepidation, doubting Elena's capability to turn away Damon. He dreaded the possibility that Elena had left with him, going back to her house or _worse, _to theirs. But when he heard a soft, muted sob, he realized that Damon had left her. What had they been doing that left Elena in such a state of agony over rejection? _Was _it rejection?

He opened the door to see her curled up on the ground, in an almost fetal position, her delicate tears wracking her entire body. It was unbearable to see her like that, so openly and truly dejected at the thought of Damon leaving her, it almost reminded Stefan of... of when _he _tried to leave her. But, not entirely the same, because then she had an undeniable _anger _at him thinking he could leave her, whereas now she just... gave up. She lost all hope, all of her spark and energy left with Damon. She looked up at him, shocked, as if she had forgotten he was there, her eyes were void of expression and she returned to looking at the ground, and when soon she looked up at him again, there was guilt clearly displayed on her features. Stefan felt his insides tear apart at her look of desperation, of shame, because she was so close to... to quite literally _killing _Stefan.

Because for that moment, for that small, singular moment, she had forgotten about him.

And Stefan simply looked at her, staring up at him, making him feel sick inside, when he was sure she felt sick inside, too.

Stefan wanted to _kill _Damon, rip him to shreds and stick a stake through his heart, but not for hurting Elena. Secretly, Stefan was relieved that Damon had put her in pain, it gave Stefan hope that things could return to normal. That Damon could go back to a 'self serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities' and Elena could hate him for who he was- _'who he _is' Stefan internally reminded himself. Damon couldn't change, not for anyone. Not for Stefan or Zack or Caroline, hell, Stefan doubted if he could change for Bonnie who was threatening him with his _life, _but he knew Damon could change for... for Elena... for _his _Elena. And that is why Stefan wanted to kill him, because he made Elena _doubt _who Stefan was _certain _Elena should be with, and that was _him._ Stefan was the right one for Elena, not Damon. Stefan was the one who would keep Elena safe, not Damon. Stefan was the smart one, the kind one, the _good _one, and therefore, the perfect one for Elena.

Stefan shook his head at his ego trip, wondering where this fierceness came from inside of him, he was only protecting what he _loved. _

But when Elena began to speak, her voice so cold and broken, he couldn't stand to imagine what they had _done. _Then, Stefan realized, he shouldn't care. He should acknowledge the fact that he is what he is, and no one can change that. Maybe, just maybe, Stefan had to allow Elena to make the choice...

The right one or the wrong one.

Elena was never quite sure which was which, now was she?

"Stop," Stefan softly interrupted Elena's nervous rambling, "I... I know" he then allowed her to stand up and crash into his arms then, weeping madly into his chest.

"I am so sorry, Stefan, nothing happened, but..." Elena rambled, trailing off at the end.

"But you wish it would've," Stefan finished wretchedly. Elena's brown, unbelievably wet eyes returned to Stefans, and she searched for something in them, searched for _anything..._ and she couldn't find it.

Stefan stepped back from her then, his heart being torn apart in his chest for what he was about to do, "and now you have to... you have to find him, Elena" Stefan whispered, completely and utterly heart-broken. She looked at him incredulously, almost _scared._

"What?" she breathed, it coming out as more of a gasp than a question, "what... what do you mean?"

Stefan shook his head, not allowing her loss for words affect him anymore, his decision to let her do this wouldn't waver anymore, "you have to..." the words felt like bile in Stefans mouth as he spoke them, "_discover _your feelings for Damon. That's the only way we'll be together, is if you know for _certain _that it's me who you want_" _he finished slowly, being torn apart by the truth of the words. Elena wouldn't _be _Katherine, Stefan would be damned if he _let _her.

She looked at him, unbelieving and sorrowful, and it nearly _destroyed _him that he couldn't wrap his arms around her again and _hold _her. Her gaze soon wandered around the room and she wrapped her arms around herself for security, then she silently nodded. It shouldn't have felt like a stake through his heart that she _agreed_ with coming to terms with her feelings, but it did, and he couldn't make the pain stop. She grabbed the boxes laid down on the bad, then he saw some of her flame reignite in her as she walked to the wardrobe. She flung the door opened and sniffled, the pushed all of Damon's clothes out of the way. She reached into the back of the closet, and pulled out his... confederacy uniform? He shook it off, and then saw her hand linger on a loose thread in the fabric, staring down at it longingly. She grabbed the boxes, tilted her chin, and walked towards the door. She tried to move around him then, that was until his arm gently grabbed hold of hers. He hadn't meant to do it, but he did, and when she lifted her head up to his to ask why, he never allowed her to finish.

Stefan cut her off with his lips, crashing down on hers madly, trying _desperately _to make her feel the passion he thought he would feel... She kissed back, at first chastely and cautiously, then equally as eagerly, trying to make herself feel too. She dropped the boxes, and her hands ran through his hair, she moved in sync with him, but it just wasn't the same anymore, because Stefan could quite literally _taste _the doubt in her, the pain... a pain that he could never stop when he was with her. She pulled herself closer, tears flowing down both their faces, and Stefans arms wrapped, if possible, even _tighter _around her. He wanted to show her, show her how it could _be. _

But then, she pulled away for air, but it sounded more like a sob than a gasp, and Stefan knew he was just hurting her more by allowing her to kiss him. So he didn't continue, but laid his extremely large hands on her face, and whispered, "this is how it could be, and I thought you should know that... I will always love you, Elena. Always. No matter who you choose." He pressed his lips lightly to hers again, but it was quick and chaste, and he pulled away almost immediately. She then smiled a small, broken smile, and pulled away. He handed her the car keys wordlessly, then she left. He knew that she had felt _nothing _while kissing him, but that wasn't what saddened Stefan so deeply.

It was that he didn't either.

Stefan shut his eyes then, allowing himself to plunge into his latest memories of a woman, selfish, cruel, but the only woman to revive a spark in him...

"Oh, Katherine," Stefan murmured, allowing the tears he had held back to overflow then, her image flooding his mind...

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_Elena had asked Damon to leave... Stefan felt victory overcome him then, feeling triumphant in the fact that she had felt only platonic feelings towards him. She looked at him then, and something awakened in Stefan, something that had been resting for over a hundred years._

_He felt himself turn nauseous, his stomach churning at the thought. Elena was somewhere... it wasn't here... this wasn't Elena... he wouldn't allow himself to scowl at her, her idiotic, overly-dramatic wide-eyed look making Stefan sick to his stomach. No, this wasn't Elena._

_She fell into his arms then, wordlessly, almost exactly like the night Isobel had left. 'Maybe this is Elena...' Stefan thought idly. He then realized, to his dismay, that it wasn't, 'no, Elena wouldn't have sent Damon away' Stefan swallowed hard, it was an undeniable candor that made Stefan queasy. _

_She then leaned into his ear, "just what I needed..." she whispered, with an edge of playfulness, vengeance, and seductiveness. She leaned back, then, looked into his eyes, and leaned in... and for the smallest of moments, Stefan leaned in, too..._

_But he then took that opportunity to choke her into a wall, "Katherine." he spat, their noses inches away from each other. She then smiled angelically, and Stefan realized he was having no effect on her. He slammed her into another wall, then another, then another, until it looked as if she was in serious pain. Stefan allowed himself to do a near deadly thing._

_He slightly loosened his grip._

_Katherine's smile returned, then, and before it registered to Stefan that she was faking the pain, she slammed his head against the wall hard, which caused him to black out..._

_v v v v v v v v v v v v v v_

_He had awoken again in a fright, realizing that he was again in his room at the Salvatore manor. He wondered instantly if it had all been a dream, if Damon had gotten into his thoughts once again. He then felt the small, healed bump on his head, and found daylight outside. He ran downstairs to find Damon, and he found Damon standing with the utmost expression of... fear, honest to god fear, written on his face. _

_The unconscious, not yet dead body of Bonnie Bennett was laying in a disturbing heap on the ground. Damon stood there, and looked over to Stefan. He handed him a note that was found on top of Bonnie's body, "it's for you" he whispered brokenly, he then uttered something like "It always is..."_

_Stefan read the note, which said, 'Dearest Stefan, if you don't want Elena, John, and Jeremy to end up in the nearly fatal state like your poor friend, or worse, then meet me where we first met, Lover. ~K' _

_Stefan looked up, panicked, at Damon, and Damon's eyes held a fierce protection and hurt that was impossible to hide, "They have Elena" Damon nearly yelled. Stefan was shocked at his behavior, but he re-read the note countless times. Damon looked to him, then uttered, "Go, I'll find the Gilberts, you take Bonnie home, but just go"_

_Stefan needed no more persuasion than that, because in the smallest of moments he was pulling Bonnie's body close to his and ran her back to her house. Realizing he had never been invited in, he laid Bonnie carefully on the swing on the porch. Once he was laid her down and knocked at the door, he began running to the old Salvatore manor as quick as his vampire speed would allow him. He reached the woods in minutes, finding Katherine there, standing seductively near two candles._

_"They're nice, aren't they?" She spoke enthusiastically motioning towards the candles, "they set the mood" she mocked._

_"Katherine" Stefan greeted stiffly, formally._

_"Is that all you can say?" she wondered, "Every greeting is 'Katherine', why not say hello for a change?" She walked closer to him, a smile tugging at her lips, and as she continued to come closer she asked, "Do you want to play with me?"_

_Stefan would not be moved by her behavior, keep the calm, cool, un-wavered facade, "How can I play if I don't know the rules?"_

_She looked at him strangely then, sincerity leaking into her voice for the smallest of moments, she looked like... she missed him. Stefan swallowed hard then, as she whispered, "no rules, Stefan"_

_Was he supposed to love the way she said his name?_

_"why are you here, Katherine?" Stefan murmured, uncomfortable._

_"you don't know..." she murmured, a finger trailing up his chest. Stefan pushed it away automatically, not liking the way Katherine's touch affected him, and she continued, un-wavered, "I came back for you."_

_Stefan sarcastically scoffed then turned to the woods for a moment, gathering his thoughts. He turned to her again and spoke the next words as venomously as possible, enunciating every sound, "the problem is, Katherine, that I hate you"_

_Katherine's eyes showed the smallest flicker of agony, but it was covered soon, and replaced with a burning anger, "You hate me huh? Well that sounds like the beginning of a love story, Stefan, not the end of one" she spat, trying to keep her cool._

_"This has to be the end, Katherine, it's time for you to leave now. I'm not going with you." Stefan said as stiffly as possible, trying to resist the urge to run away with her._

_"Oh, the end, Stefan? You want the end?" She grabbed a rather large branch and shoved it into his stomach._

_The most bloodcurdling scream was heard from Stefan, agony chilling him to his core, paralyzing him. He looked down then, shocked at what he discovered._

_"You missed" he said through gritted teeth, realizing she had only stabbed him in the gut, nowhere near fatal._

_"Next time I won't" Katherine spat, hardly being affected by his state of anguish. With a rush of air, Katherine was gone..._

_Stefan collapsed on the ground then, the world seeming to collapse around him. _

_"Cenere, cenere, tutti cadono giù ..." he whispered..._

_v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v_

_"Bonnie, you have to help us"_

_"No way in hell"_

_That was the way almost every conversation with Bonnie had began lately._

_"My father finds me passed out, on the porch, and I have to find an excuse for a whacked out, bitchy vampire attacking me in my own house? Why would I ever help you, this is all your fault!" Bonnie spat, Damon finding the energy to roll his eyes. Stefan almost welcomed the movement, Damon had been very stressed and depressed lately and it was all because of his concern for Elena._

_"Listen, witch, I-" Damon began being cut off by Stefan._

_"Katherine has Elena" Stefan choked out, the words making him and Damon flinch. Bonnie gasped lightly which made Stefan close his eyes, "please, Bonnie. Damon brought her home from being kidnapped, and brought her back to the boarding house. Since the house is only occupied by vampires, vampires don't have to be invited in. We forgot that fact and... and Katherine got her. It's getting late and we don't have much time."_

_Bonnie was gone in a second, leaving the door open, and grabbing one of her grandmother's much older books from the library, "I won't invite you in," Bonnie began, "But I'll do this outside. On the porch." Bonnie walked out then, and turned to face the Salvatores, "which one of you was in contact with Elena last?" Bonnie asked skeptically, knowing she could never be too sure._

_"It was-" Stefan whispered_

_"me." Damon finished, recalling being so close to her that night, speaking so softly when laying her upstairs in Stefan's room. The last time anyone had seen her._

_Bonnie simply nodded, not phased by it, then instructed him to lay out his hands. Usually Stefan would expect some kind of sarcastic remark, a disgusted, half-bored groan, maybe. But Damon only lightly flinched laying his hands out as Bonnie laid hers lightly on top of his, almost hovering._

_It was for Elena, after all. And that was the only thing that brought Damon through it._

_Bonnie began saying something unidentifiable in an almost Latin sounding language, speaking so deeply and her voice turning otherworldly, almost demonic. She opened her eyes then, taking in her surroundings before she sobbed, "in the woods outside of the cemetery... almost dead"_

_Stefan and Damon ran to the car, then, pressing the gas pedal down as far as it would go. They raced to the cemetery, and when they reached it, found Elena almost lifeless, and Katherine ready to attack. The pure, molten rage swelled through Damon, and he attacked impulsively, throwing Katherine into a tree._

_All Stefan could do was run to Elena..._

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Stefan then let out a cry of rage, grabbing the thing closest to him and throwing it against the creme wall. When he heard the glass shatter and a frame break, he realized what he had thrown.

Isabella Salvatore lay broken on the floor, in eternal, sorrowful ignominy. Somehow, though, Stefan didn't feel much remorse. He picked up the picture and laid it on Damon's bed, then running to his bedside end table and flipping it, fracturing a lamp and then throwing the rest of the wood at the opposite wall, it making a deafening crack against it. The destruction he was making was almost therapeutic, helping him relieve the anger that had slowly risen to the surface. He continued to destroy, then, throwing Damon's wardrobe on the floor, using a large chunk of wood to crush the fireplace.

Stefan, after much demolition, looked around the ruins of the once beautiful bedroom. He began to desperately try to pick up the pieces of the room, trying to reorganize it.

"Whoa, it looks like Haiti in here, man" said a rather laid back voice from the terrace.

Stefan looked up, and found the recently deceased Jeremy Gilbert. He stood, lounging on the railing, watching Stefan's little scene. Stefan's voice was shaking from the anger, but also the fact that Jeremy had been missing for _days _ever since Damon had saved Elena, "Jeremy..."

"Hulk..." Jeremy mocked, a smile lighting his features.

"Where have you been? Elena's been looking for you ever since you left-"

"Ugh, in town for an hour only and I'm already hammered with questions?" Jeremy interrupted, his attitude unusually bright.

"You fed" Stefan murmured.

"Well I had to, but I didn't kill them, just compelled them to make them forget and go home... okay, okay, I killed a _couple _people, but they were old, outside of this town, living in there own little bubble..." Jeremy shrugged, "now if you want me to help me clean this mess you're gonna have to invite me in"

Stefan pondered it for a moment, then clutched the wooden piece of the wardrobe tighter in his grasp, "if you try anything, remember that I'm older than you and could kill you any second" Stefan reminded him.

Jeremy groaned, "Ugh, fine, okay, I'm just trying to help!"

"Come in, Jeremy" Stefan receded further into the house almost as if to physically allow him in. Jeremy walked in, then surprisingly went right to work at cleaning.

"Listen," Jeremy began, "I obviously can't go back home, me being gone for so long would raise suspicion, and the fact that I won't get any older... So I say we write a letter to Jenna, saying that me and John were found dead in some warehouse, and our bodies were burned along with the building. We'll burn a warehouse on the outskirts of some random town I found. No one could investigate if we compel them not to, the case would be left alone. Jenna would have to accept that and move on, and then... then we move on"

Stefan looked at Jeremy incredulously, "well you seem to have everything figured out..."

"Of course," Jeremy mumbled, "there's no other way, but I have a question..."

"yes?" Stefan wondered, fearing what the question would actually be.

"I... I need a place to stay, and I was wondering if I could stay here..." Jeremy asked, trepidation leaking through his tone.

Stefan shook his head and groaned, "I already signed some papers... this house, it's going to be given to the town... is that why you came here?"

"Well of course," Jeremy concluded, "and thats no big deal, can I stay at the boarding house?"

"Jeremy, be honest with me, how many people did you kill?" Stefan inquired.

"Um..." Jeremy seemed to tick the dead bodies off on his fingers, "I don't know, man! And I don't care! I just-"

"Have you been able to come close to a human and _not _feed on them" Stefan pushed again, wanting a true answer.

Jeremy looked at him then, and tears suddenly welled up in his eyes. He began to sob, then, and Stefan watched his internal struggle, "I don't want to be a monster, Stefan, I want you to help me... please" Jeremy begged.

Stefan looked at him, and suddenly saw himself, newly turned and torturing himself for what he had done to countless people. Jeremy lifted his tormented eyes back to Stefan's, and begged silently, "Okay," Stefan caved, "Okay. But you have to stay in the basement, and I'm starting you on blood bank blood. Can you handle this life, Jeremy?"

"I really hope so" Jeremy muttered, "So should we go back to your house-"

"No!" Stefan nearly yelled, startling Jeremy, but Stefan wouldn't tell Jeremy about letting Elena run into Damon's arms, "I mean, uh, we have to keep cleaning, make this place look decent for the town..."

Jeremy looked at Stefan strangely, then patted his back softly, "Okay, man, whatever you say" he murmured.

Stefan looked down at Jeremy, then gathered a shaky breath.

"Lets get to work" He mumbled.

* * *

**Okay, you guys, next chapter isn't the Damon and Elena meet (sorry) but Bonnie, because she has a story to tell, too. And trust me, it will have plenty of DE stuff. **

**And what Stefan said in Italian was, "Ashes, ashes, we all fall down" he was kind of referring to the church and the fire in 1864, and how that almost marked the beginning of his tortured existence.**

**I hope this chapter wasn't too disappointing, I have been working countless nights on it, pouring my heart and soul into it. As someone who loves someone who doesn't love them back, it was easy to empathize with Stefan. Was he in character? i didn't want him to start getting all weird and angry all of the sudden, but the spoilers for season two say that he and Damon almost switch places a little... YAY! So I'm trying to keep the spoilers and the fan fiction close, so it isn't too much of a stretch.**

**And the ending I finally figured out, you guys, and you will LOVE IT. I think it is some of my best work in AGES.**

**Okay, here is my question for YOU. If you were Stefan, what would you have done if you knew Elena loved your brother? Would you have let her go and make the decision, or kept her with you in denial of her true feelings? (ps, the kiss between Stefan and Elena KILLED me to write, but the truth of the matter is that Stefan still loves Elena, and she loves him too.**

**I truly and sincerely hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did!**

**Sheesh ya'll twas a dream!**

**~Taylor 3**


	7. Inevitable Resolution

**I am SO SO SO SORRY that this chapter is so late, inspiration was hard coming, and I've been working on bits and pieces, trying to make the story fall seamlessly together (not possible, lol)**

**y'all ready for this? Alright, here is the Bonnie chapter, and I did my homework... kind of. I told myself I would have to like her, nay, understand her to write it well and... well I don't like her.**

**Nonetheless, I am devoted and worked very hard on getting a base of understanding for the character, seeing as I was able to get Stefan down moderately well and I don't necessarily like him. I respect him... somewhat... still I think you will like her thoughts. She is actually moderately right about things, kind of wise, but still very very stupid. (hahaha, that makes NO sense)**

**This chapter takes place a little bit before Jeremy goes to the Salvatore manor, during Damon and Elena's intense meeting ;)  
**

**I don't own TVD, blah blah blah, I think you already know that.**

**(this chapter is a TEENSY bit shorter than the other chapters, by four hundred words or so. It really isn't that much if you put it in perspective, but still, I feel like I'm cheating you guys... I'm just building up to the DE meet XD that was a tease...)**

**Alrighty, let's get witchy!**

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

_"You... you got drunk?" Bonnie's father yelled filled with impotent, yet very powerful rage, "that is why I have been off the wall all morning and last night? Because you went to a party and got drunk?"_

_It probably wasn't the wisest idea to give her father a reason she was gone, but Bonnie had to tell him something. She ended up telling him that Elena had come over and took her to a party outside of town. She ended up getting really drunk, and Elena brought her home. Since Elena didn't have a key to the house, and didn't want to wake her father, she left her on the porch. Bonnie had felt moderately proud at her fast thinking, and almost relieved she had a human answer for her father. But, looking at his expression as she carried on with the story, she could tell he was more than a little upset. Bonnie instantly regretted it, wondering if she could have played the "kidnapped" idea, made it easier for herself._

_"That is it! I was thinking that maybe, possibly, you could get better after your insane grandmother died, but you haven't. You aren't the same person anymore. You're distant and morbid and scary, always making reckless and stupid decisions. You and Elena hardly ever speak, you don't go out with your friends, just re-read that old book that the old woman gave you! You say there was no one like Grams, no one that could compare to her, but I can tell you where to find someone like her; go to an asylum!" her father spat, his voice shaking when he was finished ranting._

_It hit Bonnie hard, it was like her father had reopened a wound that Bonnie had spent so much time trying to hide under a tough exterior, a collected facade. Bonnie felt her walls melt down, like a molten lava, burning her to her core. She stared at her father as he realized the depth of his words, and he looked up pleadingly at her._

_"Bonnie I am so sorry... Bonnie?"_

_The shock and pain had paralyzed Bonnie, it was impossible to move, breathe, anything. She looked at him, numb, but still achingly painfully, and said nothing._

_"Bonnie, stop it, what are you doing?" Her father pleaded, looking infinitely concerned for his daughter and how his cruel words had effected her._

_Bonnie didn't move, but suddenly the numb sensation went away, and a fiery rage was left, scorching Bonnie, as she felt the power build inside of her._

_"Bonnie, I-"_

_"No! Go to HELL!" Bonnie screeched, throwing her arms up, and feeling her powers soar through her entire body. Her father was thrown back against the fireplace, crashing the painting that hung above it. Shards of glass caught into his arm, blood splashing the wall in vivid colors that made Bonnie sick. She stalked over to him threateningly, his eyes wide with pain and fear, realizing the extent of her power. Bonnie flicked her wrist and her father's head slammed into the brick fireplace, knocking him unconscious._

_Bonnie soon felt her power release, and she was left with the shocking aftermath. The blood was a pool at her feet, and Bonnie felt nauseous, she couldn't breathe. She turned out of her house quickly and ran, ran to the only place that she felt at home at the moment._

_Fell's Church._

_She ran through the woods, falling and stumbling over branches, her eyesight blurred and tears stung her face. She threw branches out of the way and eventually made her way to the church, on the outskirts of the cemetery._

_It was her fault, her father was lying at home in a puddle of his own blood, and she left him there. Bonnie then screamed; a loud, bloodcurdling scream, that had a perpetual sadness intertwined with it. She ripped at the grass and screamed and sobbed, the realization that Grams was really gone hitting her like an ocean wave, knocking her under and submerging her in darkness. She was out of control, she couldn't control her powers even with the people she loved. Grams had always said, extreme emotion fueled powers, that was why she was clinging on to Elena when she had to save Damon from the fire. Elena's terror and fear fueled Bonnie's powers, and allowed her to save Stefan and Damon..._

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

Bonnie was sitting at the center of Fell's Church, remembering the day. Luckily, Bonnie managed to find a spell in Emily's spell book to erase someone's memories. Bonnie awoke him later, healed his wounds, and said that he had fallen asleep and she tried the kidnapped excuse again, not going down the Grams road with her father. Still, it hurt to look at him and know what he said, but in a tiny way... he was right. Bonnie had been different, but she couldn't help it.

Bonnie was taken off the course of her thoughts, feeling an aura begin to approach the church, the aura was one of sadness, terror, disgust, stupidity, gore, pain... so much _pain, _and... death. Bonnie was alert immediately, standing tall and wiping her eyes. She swallowed hard as she saw the figure in the woods, the darkness of the soon falling night hitting his features. He seemed to be carrying a small object, a creature, maybe. He looked older, slumping his shoulders, but still very tall. She read an unmistakable maturity in his aura, and she felt a familiarity with this unknown man. As he neared the clearing, Bonnie tried to gather strength and courage, trying to seem intimidating, although she was feeling quite vulnerable. The man was soon at the clearing, only ten feet away from her. He dropped the creature in his arms and it fell to the ground with a sickening thud. The man seemed unaware of her presence, too submerged in his own sadness.

"Jeremy?" Bonnie whispered, shock paralyzing her.

Jeremy quickly looked up at her, his gaze breaking from his shattered expression that he held while looking at the small child he had just fed from. Her black, wavy hair framed her face, and even for a small child, her face was thin. Her dark brown eyes were still open, staring unforgivingly up at Jeremy's face, and blood covered her body, stained her periwinkle dress. Her skin was ravaged, shredded, and cannibalistic bites tore through her. Her cheeks looked as though they would hold a pink tint, a small blush. The little girl looked no older than six.

"She looks like her," Jeremy choked, "They look exactly the same... excluding the age difference" he was talking about Anna, obviously, even Bonnie saw the resemblance. Jeremy's voice broke, then, along with his heart, "don't come any closer" Jeremy instructed as Bonnie tried to walk over. No matter how nauseous Bonnie felt looking at the small child, she couldn't bring herself to end Jeremy.

Because this was her fault, this animal, this was Bonnie's fault. Jeremy turned because she didn't deactivate the device and it had killed Anna.

"Jeremy... I want to help you" Bonnie whispered, "this is my fault-"

"Of course it is!" Jeremy yelled, gripping a tree to keep from attacking her, "You didn't deactivate the device, and now the only person I have _ever _been able to truly love is _dead!" _His fangs protruded, as well as his veins, and Bonnie felt incredibly weak.

_"_I know, Jeremy, I know," Bonnie cried, "but you can take control of this, it doesn't have to be this way-"

'How can't it be?" Jeremy spat sarcastically, "I've already completed the transformation, there's no other choice."

"Yes, there is," Bonnie whispered, trying to calm him, "You can go to Stefan, this _never _has to happen again... Jeremy why are you here?" Bonnie asked, wondering why he had taken the beautiful dead girl to the church.

Jeremy looked up at her, pain filling his eyes, "I've been staying here, burying the people here-"

"At the church?" Bonnie asked incredulously. It was quite a contradiction, a vampire living in a church.

"I pray," Jeremy whispered after collecting himself, "I pray that God will forgive me, give me an answer. I pray for all of the lives I have taken, the people I have killed. I pray that one day... that one day I will be able to control myself, and be able to live the life that was taken from me... the life that I gave up... I just didn't want the pain, Bonnie" Jeremy sobbed, looking at Bonnie for comfort, "I just wanted to pain to go away, and it didn't, it's only worse. Because if I turn off the bad things, I turn off the good things... then... then I just feel dead, and I have always been afraid of death, Bonnie. Always" Jeremy ended completely and utterly heart-broken by his internal realization. He collapsed on the ground and bawled at the young child's feet. Bonnie felt herself cry, too, knowing that she had to help him.

"Jeremy, go to the boarding house, if Stefan isn't there, go to the Salvatore manor, and look everywhere until you find Stefan. He will help you. Don't talk to anyone, don't run in to anyone, just go." Bonnie instructed as calmly as possible, even though her voice was still raw with emotion. Jeremy then stood slowly, nodded to Bonnie, and left.

Bonnie realized that she would have to address the bloody corpse of the little girl, and she focused on it. She felt sick to her stomach doing so, having to look at the gory exterior of the small child. The child soon caught on fire, the flame flickering lightly on her small dress. Tears fell from Bonnie's eyes, watching the tiny, helpless little girl burn. Her skin soon cracked and gave the air a sickening scent, making it impossible for Bonnie to breathe. She let the fire continue, but soon put it out, fearing the entire cemetery would go up in flames if she left it. All that was left was a scorched body, the skin pulled back and melted and pulled apart, absolutely revolting. Bonnie shut her eyes and fell on the ground, finding a memory that fell over her and made it hard to breathe yet again.

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_The doorbell rang, and Bonnie ran to it quickly, her nerves still on live wire since the founders' events. She felt an aura of panic, but the panic seemed to be covering something, something infinitely more dark and evil than Bonnie could possibly comprehend, but she opened the door anyways._

_Elena stood there, her curls still impeccably in place, and tears staining her cheeks. Bonnie felt immediate sympathy for Elena, wondering what could have happened to make her so distressed. She looked as if she changed, her clothes infinitely more risky than Elena would naturally wear. They were all black, skin tight, and fit her curves naturally. A sob escaped Elena's throat and she whispered, "Bonnie, something happened, it's John, he-" she cut off, sobbing rather dramatically. Elena hardly ever cried like that, ever. She seemed as though she didn't even mind that Bonnie was seeing her so vulnerable, while at most times Elena hated the sympathy that came from her._

_"Come in, come in" Bonnie soothed, opening the door quietly. Her father was sleeping and she didn't want to wake him up. Elena's eyes held a glint of something... mischievous for a moment, but it soon went away as she stepped inside. Bonnie shut the door, and as she brushed Elena's arm, she realized something terrifyingly deadly._

_This was not Elena._

_Bonnie turned slowly, cautiously, fearing what she would see. The tears were still falling, and the girl walked over to the couch, falling on the armrest. Bonnie walked in slowly after her, infinitely afraid of whoever this was. "Elena" was babbling, something that she rarely did._

_The stranger looked up at her, looking as if she expected Bonnie to sit next to her, rub her back, soothe her. Instead, Bonnie spat, "Who the hell are you?"_

_The woman's tears stopped then, and she gathered herself rather quickly, her face becoming calm and almost _kind. _She stood, and spoke in a refined manner, "I don't believe we've met... I'm Katherine"_

_The words stunned Bonnie, stopped her dead, and Katherine giggled deviously at that._

_"Just t-take Damon and leave" Bonnie whispered, completely terrified of this woman._

_Katherine laughed again, her chuckle like a bubbling brook, wind chimes, the sweetest, yet most bitter sound, "Ah, young child, I don't want Damon... I came back for Stefan" Katherine then walked over to her, their faces inches apart. Bonnie then succeeded in putting on a brave face._

_"You better get out of this town." Bonnie instructed, angered and fearful._

_Katherine then stared at her, her face lighting with demonic curiosity, "Oh? And why is that?" She asked, sounding deadly yet beautiful._

_"Because I can take down a vampire" Bonnie said, a hint of an angered smirk on her face, "I am a witch"_

_Katherine wasn't even effected by her words, simply kept her same expression of evil playfulness, "Hm. Well I've known a lot of Bennett witches," Katherine then brought her hand up to Bonnie's throat, cutting off all access to air effortlessly, and Bonnie's mask of control and confidence fell off. She looked at Katherine's calm, deadly expression, making Bonnie feel more panicked than before. Katherine slammed Bonnie into the nearest wall, and Bonnie gasped loudly, allowing Katherine demonic pleasure, "it doesn't end well for them" _

_Katherine then slammed Bonnie's head against the wall, and as she was fading into the blackness, Bonnie heard a mumble of, "Damn, Bennett"_

_v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v_

_Once Bonnie had gotten home from the cemetery, after healing her father and using her powers to erase his memories, she heard a frantic knock at the door. Bonnie was hesitant to opening it, then read the aura which unmistakably belonged to Stefan and Damon. She opened the door threateningly, then glared at them. She didn't speak, what were they there for?_

_"Bonnie, you have to help us-" Stefan began rambling, panicked._

_"No way in hell" Bonnie interrupted coldly, "__My father finds me passed out, on the porch, and I have to find an excuse for a whacked out, bitchy vampire attacking me in my own house? Why would I ever help you, this is all your fault!" Bonnie spat, cleverly avoiding the fact that it took _two _turns to get the conversation with her father right._

_"Listen, witch, I-" Damon began with a sarcastic eye roll that lacked his usual energy._

___"Katherine has Elena" Stefan choked out, the words making him and Damon flinch. Bonnie gasped uncontrollably, completely and utterly stunned at the fact that Elena was taken, which made Stefan close his eyes, "please, Bonnie. Damon brought her home from being kidnapped, and brought her back to the boarding house. Since the house is only occupied by vampires, vampires don't have to be invited in. We forgot that fact and... and Katherine got her. It's getting late and we don't have much time."_

___Without a word, Bonnie walked into her house, opening Emily's grimior that was opened on the coffee table, "I won't invite you in" Bonnie began nervously, "But I'll do this outside, on the porch" both the Salvatore's were well aware that Bonnie was going to do a spell, so she felt no need to explain. "Which one of you was in contact with Elena last?" Bonnie questioned, knowing that to anyone else the answer should have been simple, and the question alone was _inappropriate considering the fact that Elena was dating Stefan.

_"It was-" Stefan began painfully._

_"me" Damon continued quietly, no hint of smugness in his voice._

_Bonnie couldn't say she was necessarily surprised. After all... she had always known._

_When Stefan, Elena, Damon and Bonnie were standing in the Salvatore parlor together, discussing the Gilbert device, there was something in Damon that Bonnie had never found before. Behind his arrogant, self-centered attitude, something in his, dare she say it, __heart, _softened looking at Elena. It was, to say the least, disgusting. Why should he have the right to love? Bonnie wanted the answer, so she searched further into his aura, and mixed between the years of gore and stupidity, there was a small place in him that held something, it almost seemed to say to her, "reserved for Elena. Only." there was pain, and sadness, and heartbreak, and defiance, and loyalty, and obsession, and somewhere in there, Bonnie felt love. Pure, honest to god, love.

"_But you can trust me"_

_'Yes, why yes he most certainly can, Elena' Bonnie internally cringed. __But he had no right to trust or love or heal; nothing, in Bonnie's perspective. __She despised him for loving Elena, because he doesn't deserve it. __He can trust her, not Bonnie. __But somewhere inside of her, although she knew Damon didn't deserve Elena's love, mixed in the room with passion and guilt and anger and frustration, there was an aura mixed by only two souls._

_Understanding._

_Well, eenie meenie miny mo, Stefan, you're out._

_And Bonnie knew, she knew that when he wrapped his long slender fingers around her delicate ones, and forced slight pressure on the device and her hand, there was something that she didn't understand there. __When they touched, their auras went into a frenzy, it was like they were... flames, two flames that merged into one. There was brilliancy, there was light, there was hope. It lit the entire room with an intensity and _fire _that made it difficult for Bonnie to be in such close proximity to. Stefan looked down at their hands, and he grimaced. Bonnie felt Stefan's aura change into one of the purest acceptance, but still betrayal and pain._

_Bonnie then instructed Damon to lay his hands out, and when he did, she automatically hovered her hands over his. She mumbled in Latin, and the vision that came to her was sickening and frightening._

_It was Elena laying on the ground of the cemetery forest, Katherine slamming her into a tree, causing blood to ooze out of her exposed neck._

_Bonnie pulled back from the vision, seeing all she needed to see, and told Stefan and Damon in a shaky whisper exactly where Elena was. They were in the blink of an eye in their car, pulling away into the night, going towards the cemetery._

_Bonnie fell into helpless sobs, and began praying for her dearest friend. If... when they saved Elena, Bonnie would make sure it was different... they had to be different, they had to be friends... Bonnie wouldn't be able to live with herself if they weren't._

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

Bonnie awoke from her memories when she heard someone approaching in the woods, miles away, but still too close for Bonnie's liking. It was Sheriff Forbes, most likely called down to investigate why there was a smoke cloud in the middle of the cemetery... _'damn'_ Bonnie cursed internally, thinking she had put the fire out... she still had so much to learn, maybe she didn't know as much as she thought...

No matter, though, the child was ashes and if Bonnie summoned some cigarettes near the fire, maybe people would think that the cigarette had started it... it was worth a shot, and Bonnie magically summoned a cigarette. Summoning things was a trick Grams taught her. As long as you know where it is, you can summon it. She imagined her father's bedroom, filled with half finished cigarettes. They fell in the palm of her hand in a moment, and Bonnie grinned a small, content smile, and she lit it only the tiniest bit, then threw it on the ground next to the fire, the cigarette soon catching and flaming.

Bonnie walked from the cemetery, her thoughts becoming very vivid in her mind and forcing her to realize something she never had before.

Unforgiving, cruel, merciless, it took everything away from you. It was used for both good and evil, taking more than it gave, but nonetheless giving. It had beauty, a harsh, blazing beauty that was so demonic, it took a while to regain composure. It's presence gave little reassurance, but still had the ability to make one feel safe. It was out of control, never had the capability to change itself from the course it fell recklessly down. It's strength constantly grew, taking away all of the comfort in the fact that it was reliable. It could not be trusted, one day it could hurt you. One day... it would incinerate all who relied on it, scorching and burning away all responsibility and dependability upon the fact that it took away your essence with one touch. And all it took was one, tiny flame to begin it.

You may think Bonnie was speaking of the fire...

She was speaking of herself.

* * *

**O.o, Bonnie has gone coocoo for cocoa puffs, am I right?**

**I hope I didn't offend anyone with the last large paragraph, but I think it is truly the way Bonnie is. She isn't a bad person, but she needs to learn control. She is not automatically the best witch of all time, she has no idea what she is capable of, and she is losing control, it is slipping away from her, and I see that.**

**Next chapter... THE MEETING.**

**Who knows how crazy that will be. Now tell me in the reviews, would you like the meeting to be:**

**1. Hot and steamy (less dialogue)**

**2. Intense and passionate (more dialogue)**

**I think I would PERSONALLY go for Intense and passionate, but that's just me.**

**Another question, how do you feel about Bonnie's thoughts for Damon&Elena's relationship (review)**

**Alright, I'm signing out and FINALLY going to bed!**

**Sheesh ya'll, twas a dream!**

**~Taylor (ChristmasonPancakes)**


	8. Eternal Happiness, Eternal Sadness

**i know you hate me.**

**But you will love me.**

**After this chapter.**

**After days and weeks of setting it all out, (although it's after the premiere, I assumed you wouldn't mind considering that there is only, like, three chapters left) I had my first couple of days of school, got caught up in the work, but still devoted myself to this. Why? Because I love you, and DE. and "The Return"? Beautiful, magnificent premiere episode.**

**This is rated... T? Like, just make sure you are mature enough to understand it, it doesn't do anything TOO bad, but believe me, I was so entirely TEMPTED.**

v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v v

Elena felt her grip on the steering wheel begin to tighten as the thoughts of Damon ran through her head, seducing her, lulling her into his dark, jacketed arms as he took her from the world...

Elena could only imagine, which infuriated her. The idle idea that Damon hadn't felt for her intertwined with her thoughts, angering her and scaring her briefly. If he hadn't felt for her... if he left because he didn't want to hurt her by revealing that fact...

Elena bit her lip and shook her head as her throat constricted against the thought.

Elena hadn't known when she had fallen for Damon, hell, she didn't know she had until an hour ago when Stefan had pointed it out.

With Stefan, Elena had felt an immediate pull towards him, and he reciprocated enthusiastically. It had worked perfectly, they meshed and became comfortable with each other within only days, they truly felt the instant attraction. And when Elena was with Stefan, she felt key in someone's survival. She knew that... that Stefan needed her.

A stray tear fell down Elena's cheek, she was entirely uncertain if she could go through this. She bit down harder on her lip which resulted in more crying.

With Damon... he made her feel sexy, independent, strong, even though she was certain that he could kill her in the blink of an eye. He still looked to her as an equal, as a friend, as his only friend.

She pulled the car to the side of the road, then, deeming herself not fit to drive. She slammed her fist on the steering wheel, which resulted in a very impolite honking noise. She didn't even mind for a moment, she didn't see where she was, didn't want to see. She was pulled into the darkness that had fallen around her, it was irresistable. She felt one with the night, alone, and scared. No one could see her, no one could find her, she was simply lost in the eternal skies of the everlasting universe.

Elena nearly jumped out of her seat when her car door was opened. She looked out the window with wild eyes, letting out a startled gasp.

Blue eyes met tear stained brown eyes, and Elena certainly wasn't afraid anymore.

Damon reached into the car, unbuckled her seatbelt quickly, then had her in his arms in the smallest of moments. She nestled her head into the crook of his neck, and he, in result, pulled her body closer to him, sheilding her from what was hiding in the darkness. What it was, she did not know, but it was danger.

Strangely, only months before she would have classified Damon as exactly that; danger. But there she was, nestled in his arms, as he protected her from the harsh realities of the world.

He would be damned if he had to see the world do this to her.

But doing this... it just made Damon's job harder...

'_I failed in a... feeble attempt at the right thing'_

He would do the right thing this time. Not for Stefan, not for anyone else in this damn town, but for Elena. He had to, he couldn't live with himself if he didn't.

But with her in his arms, feeling so soft, and feeble, and so incredibly _warm, _Damon savored the moment, realizing with dejection that this was the last time it would ever happen...

She murmered a soft "thank you" against his throat, her breath causing the hairs on his neck to stand up. He shuddered in reply and Elena shut her eyes and contentment.

When Elena felt her hair go back rapidly, wind falling on her face, all of the air released from her lungs.

Soon, the air became less cold and harsh, and the wind had stopped. When she re-opened her eyes, she was laying in the Salvatore parlor, on the couch. She looked around rapidly for Damon, wondering where he had gone. Her eyes immediately went to his bar, where he was sitting with a glass of an amber liquid pressed against his forehead.

Elena watched him for a moment, completely aware of the fact that he was conscious of her staring. A small smile formed on her lips as she recognized his pattern, putting the glass to his forehead as he always did. Her smile soon fell when she realized that he only put the glass to his head when he was stressed, or angry, or did something he regretted.

Elena swallowed slowly, then averted her eyes. Putting a clammy hand to her head, she stood abruptly and pulled her body across the room, facing him.

He turned slowly, finally acknowledging her presence, and what Elena saw broke her heart into a million pieces.

Tears ran down his face, and he clenched his jaw after looking at her. He turned his head back towards the fireplace, "Yes?" he whispered, heart-broken at what he would have to do, very very soon...

Elena averted her gaze to the couch, finally taking notice to some very suspicious looking duffle bags, "...you're leaving?" Elena whispered brokenly.

"What gave you the hint?" Damon bit out sarcastically, taking a swig of his bourbon.

"And are you coming back?" Elena breathed, dreading the answer.

"Yes." Damon hesitated, but answered softly.

"...good," Elena muttered with a sigh, "so is this goodbye?"

"It would seem so" Damon conceded, his soul tearing at the seams.

Elena tried to calm her nerves, think of something appropriate to say in their situation, but there was truly nothing she could say that would sum it up suitably. She then lifted her shaking hand towards his face, slowly stroking his jaw with her thumb.

He savored her touch for a moment, registering it to his memory, and instead of leaning into her hand as he wished he could, he pulled away abruptly.

"Damon..." Elena whispered, unsure of what else to say. She tried to hide her pain at the fact that he pulled away, but would not be wavered. She pulled away quickly, trying to hide her embarrassement.

Before Damon knew what he was doing, he grabbed her hand, whispering, "No..."

Elena looked up at him in shock, and she felt him pull her hand back to his face. Elena shook with pleasure and fear, and smiled with nervous satisfaction.

Damon wasn't entirely sure why he had done that, but he was guessing it was a part of him that... that still wanted to be the bad guy, the bad brother.

The one that didn't deserve Elena.

That was his plan, be the good one for once and let Elena be with Stefan, he had to, he just... had to. To show he was worthy of her affection, but not worthy enough. Never worthy enough. His plan was simple, be horrible to her, rude, deny that anything had happened, but he couldn't.

So he was going to masochistic route.

Her hand found it's way to his hair, and she massaged his head softly, "Damon..." she whispered again, completely and utterly joyous. But in the joy was an eternal sadness that was intertwined thickly, impossible to remove.

Damon painfully stood up, and walked over to the fireplace, draping his arms on the head of it and laying his head against the cool exterior of the wood. Elena, confused, walked over to him, and laid a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off, in a feeble attempt to stick to his initial plan.

"Damon," Elena breathed, "Damon, please, talk to me-"

"There's nothing to talk about" Damon uttered, not facing her.

"Don't give me that!" Elena retorted, defiant, "Don't pretend that what happened back there was-"

"a mistake," Damon hissed, turning his head towards her suddenly, trying to conceal his pain. But Elena saw right through his facade. She would not give up on him, she just wouldn't.

Damon walked away then, roughly grabbing his jacket and throwing it over his shoulders. Elena couldn't help but stare at the way his muscles moved under his jacket, causing a ripple of excitement through her body. "Wait," she whispered.

He froze then, unable to turn her simple request away. Instead of a reply, he simply turned to her, his eyes questioning, filled with painful accusation.

"In my car," Elena began, uncertain of where she was going with this, "there is a box... can you go get it?"

"What?" Damon questioned rudely, utterly confound by her odd request.

"Please, Damon, I was going to bring it in... Could you please get it and come back?" She mumbled, and uncomfortable blush rising to her cheeks.

Damon, with his brows knit together in confusion, nodded swiftly. In a moment, he was back, holding the box. Instead of looking at Elena, he was staring down at the box, or rather, what was inside the box.

Elena walked over to him slowly, gauging his reaction.

"...Elena, what..." He whispered, questioning why she had wanted this.

Elena was standing in front of him, then, completely unafraid. This was Damon. She wouldn't give up on him.

She grabbed the confederacy jacket that was folded in the box, then unfolded it and laid it on the couch gingerly. She took the box from his hands, then, and placed it on the ground, "May I see it on?" Elena whispered, motioning to the confederacy jacket.

Damon gazed at her, watching her fearless form. Sure, there was trepidation in her request, but she knew Damon, and she knew there was nothing to be afraid of, nothing too forward. He nodded softly, and began to remove his jacket, when Elena stopped him.

"No..." she whispered, watching the planes of his broad chest, before bringing her eyes back to his.

Damon opened his mouth to inquire what she had intended to do, when she lifted her small, shaking hands to his jacket, and started to slowly slide it off his shoulders. Damon shook like a small child, unsure and afraid, yet so very happy. For the first time in over 145 years, Damon was entirely happy, euphoric. But, there was always pain with his pleasure, as every rose had it's thorn.

Elena's small hands lingered on his arms as she slid his jacket off, caressing the outlines of his muscles as she did so. Damon watched her, joy shining brightly in his eyes, but fear as well. The jacket fell to the ground with a thud, but Elena's arms did not move from his arms, his chest, his perfectly chiseled body, yet she continued with their intimate situation, unable to help herself.

She turned her eyes to the box on the floor, then lifted white cloth from it. His grass stained, torn, dirtied white tank was in Elena's hands, and she fiddled with in innocently. She brought her eyes back to his and raised her elegantly arched eybrows, her eyes filled with a challenge.

Damon merely nodded, understanding what she meant and swallowing back a cry of victory and pleasure.

Elena placed the tank on the chair next to the jacket, then thumbed the hem of his black john vervatos shirt. She began to innocently, yet even more so sensually, raise his shirt above his head. Her soft hands moved slowly over his body, as Damon was revealed to her. The fire light had cast long shadows and curves over his body, making him even more irrisistable to her. He was like a drug to her.

So wonderful.

But it would be the death of her.

And for that small moment, she didn't mind. Damon was standing there, trying desperately to replace his look of vulnerability with one of bravery and cockiness. It was a sad attempt, and instead of smiling at it or glaring at it, Elena simple looked into his eyes as if it was the last time she would ever see them...

They were darker around the edges, and as you rounded the pupil, they became excruciatingly beautiful, the lightest blue Elena had ever seen. Elena fell into their icy depths and drowned in everything that was Damon.

Damon silently gazed back, absorbing her irresistable eyes. They were the lightest brown; warm, yet so bright with fervent intensity that lit Damon's soul on fire. There were small specks of the most golden topaz he'd ever seen, but became infinitely darker as they reached the edges, blending wonderfully.

Damon had done many kinky things with women, some happily married, some dating younger men. But this, this was something else...

Damon had never experienced anything more frightening and magnificent in his unbearable existence.

He stood there, shaking slightly, then clenched his jaw and swallowed back the words he wanted to whisper in her ear so terribly, to murmer to her appreciatively until she believed them.

_I love you._

And how he did.

Elena brought a trembling hand to the couch, not being able to tear her gaze away from Damon's beautiful body, getting lost in the essence of his soul. She bit back on her tongue, holding back the words that had never seemed to mean as much as in that moment.

_I love you._

And she truly did. Her hand, after much wandering, found the dirtied tank, and she unfolded it slowly.

Damon looked at it breifly, not being able to bear the last thoughts of when he had worn it, of how he had been sitting at the trunk of a tree in 1864, watching as Stefan took away the heart of the only person he had ever loved.

But looking at Elena, although he had previously tried to, he didn't see Katherine anymore.

Somewhere along the line, Damon had started seeing Elena, and stopped seeing Katherine, although he had searched for Katherine. But it was useless. So, he stopped looking.

She cleared her throat softly, politely, "arms up," she murmured kindly, staring him directly in the eyes, no trace of fear to be found.

Damon did as she instructed for the first time in his entire, pitiful existance, and she slid the tank over his head quickly, pausing breifly when it was about to fall on his stomach. Elena sighed softly, longingly, looking over it once more, and he pulled the tank the rest of the way down.

Elena blinked then, being brought back into the present. She looked over him approvingly, and smiled the softest of smiles. She reached over the couch quickly and found his blue-grey jacket. She then walked around him, to his back, her fingernails leaving a trail of electricity where it made contact with his bare skin. She pulled the smooth cloth over his arms, after quickly absorbing his special aroma.

She could still smell the cinnamon.

Elena walked over approvingly to look at her work. The sight made her gasp slightly, air suddenly unavailable. Standing there, in his old uniform, with an elegant beauty about him, Elena uncovered and found what she had searched for so diligently.

She found Damon.

She found who he used to be, soft and vulnerable, yet strong, and loyal. his loyalty new no bounds; time, nor distance could affect him. Not when it came to love. And when Elena realized her triumph, she couldn't bear the severe happiness.

_She _brought him back.

Damon's eyes were lit with a radiant joy, and he smiled a true, genuine smile at Elena.

That was _her _smile.

Elena smiled back, tears forming in her eyes. She swallowed a rather large lump that had risen in her throat, and she gasped out, a chuckle and sob mixed as one. Damon stepped over to her in a moment, his face revealing concern and anxiousness.

Damon then couldn't resist the urge, bringing his hand up to cup Elena's cheek, using his thumb to gingerly wipe away her tears.

Elena looked back up to him in shock, and was met with an equal expression of surprise.

Elena felt her resolve start to slip, as she realized she began to close the distance, her eyes slipping shut.

Damon watched her, as she gave in and accepted her feelings, no longer denying them. That, to Damon, was the most captivating thing he had ever seen. And for a moment, Damon leaned too, feeling his heart start to reassemble itself, piece by piece as he got closer to her lips, inch by inch...

'_No, no, NO!' _Damon internally screamed, his initial plan paralyzing him with shock and defiance. Damon pulled away harshly, walking to the bar and running his fingers through his hair, feeling the urge to tear it out.

Elena's face held shock and hurt for a moment, then an undeniable anger was aroused within her, and her flame was re-lit.

"What the hell? I come here, show you exactly how I feel and you reject me!" Elena yelled, incredulous.

Damon pulled back around towards her, stalking over to the fireplace, facing away from her the entire time. He wouldn't be able to bear seeing those sad eyes, "I don't feel the same way" Damon bit out cruelly, "this means nothing to me."

Elena swallowed, not letting the Damon she had seen just moments before slip away from her, "you could've fooled me" Elena scoffed coldly.

Damon didn't face her, he wouldn't be able to control himself, "You're just another-"

"Katherine?" Elena choked out, on the verge of tears, "you think I'm just another Katherine?"

"Yes" Damon murmered unapologetically, though his eyes might have decieved him.

"That's a lie" Elena replied, her bravery faltering a bit, but her confidence not shaking, "that is not true and you _know _it. Damon, why did you save me from the car crash?" Elena asked to no avail, recieving a cold silence, "Why didn't you kill me in the middle of the night, when you had every opportunity to? Why did you replace my vervain necklace, when you could have compelled me to have done anything, be anything? Why did you step in for Stefan, when you could have left me to embarass myself? Why did you help me get Stefan back? Why did you help protect me, and this town? Why-"

"Because!" Damon barked, swinging towards her with a feirce anger. He should have known all of his walls would have crumbled when he saw her frightened look. He stopped, and simply gathered his breath, and crushed the mantle of the fireplace to keep from losing control.

Elena let one tear fall, "Why don't you want to be with me?"

Damon met her look of pure anguish with one of his own; all of her miseries in the world were Damon's miseries, and he felt each and every one as she did. He wasn't just a friend of hers, he was a part of her. A living, breathing organ that held her heart and love with no rival, not even Stefan. He held her fire.

On days like these, when Damon could see Elena's flame, it would usually burn him, burn him to his core. It scorched him inside, but for once, he welcomed it.

"You have to be with... S-Stefan. Allow me the pleasure, Miss Elena Gilbert, of showing that I am worthy of your affections. Go be with _him, _because I don't deserve it-"

"No." Elena whispered, her heart shattered into a million pieces by the devestating thought that she couldn't be with him.

"Elena, I know," Damon muttured, his voice cracking, "I know that you love him. And I know, more than that, that he needs you. Please, Elena, I want to be the better person. I want to be the good brother. Just once." Damon begged whole-heartedly.

Elena absorbed what he was saying, allowing more tears to escape, her heart pulsating and rocking her frame as she realized that _this _was goodbye.

"But can you allow me one thing?" Damon questioned, his eyes averting to the ground.

Elena nodded enthusiastically, her eyes lighting with hope, "Anything" she ensured.

"Would you allow me... would you allow me to show you how I feel for you. I would never be able to forgive myself if I let you leave without knowing..."

Elena nodded to him, and his eyes finally lifted to hers as she whispered, "okay."

He walked to her still, sobbing form, and he grabbed her hand softly, cautiously. He began with a shaky breath;

"I love your hands, because they are so small and fragile, yet so strong and powerful" Damon whispered, running his lips along her knuckles, hearing Elena's heart accelerate.

He reached further up her arm, "I love your shoulders, they hold the weight of the world, yet don't falter under the pressure" He stepped behind her, his body molding into hers as he pressed his lips down on both of her shoulders.

Damon's nose trailed along the sides of her shoulders until it reached it's new destination, right along her collarbone, "I love your neck, so long, seductive and proud. Not to mention entirely entoxicating" Damon nuzzled his lips on her neck, having his hunger under control, and allowing his tongue to graze over her exposed skin. Elena gasped softly, her legs buckling under her. As she fell, Damon pulled away and ran his arm over her body and swept her into his arms before she hit the ground. Damon paid a small notice to the almost bruise looking blotch appearing on her neck, the blood rising to it.

Damon set her on the tall chair of bar, and rather than releasing her, he remained hold on her leg, "I love your legs, so sexy and long, entirely skinny" Damon brought his lips to her thighs, leaving a trail of kisses along the skin under her dangerously tight and short shorts.

Damon looked up to Elena then, his eyes decieving him and showing the fear and caution he was trying desperately to hide.

Damon swung up close to her face, his lips just an inch away from Elena's, and he ducked to the side of her head, "I love your ears, you manage to hear things I don't say..." Damon whispered huskily into her ear, trailing off to nibble on the lobe, graze his tongue along the inside. Elena let out a shaky breath, goosebumps raising on her flesh.

Damon lifted his head towards the top of her head, "I love your mind, so independent, free and accepting" He brushed his lips across her forehead, soft as a butterfly's wing lightly grazing your flesh. But he had no reason to be fearful, no reason to be afraid or cautious. But he was. He was afraid, and cautious, and undeniably _human, _because she did that to him.

"I love your eyes," Damon whispered against her, Elena shutting her eyes in contentment and Damon taking the golden opportunity to lightly kiss her eye-lids, "I love your eyes because you see me, like no one else does"

"I love your little dimple, because I only see it when you smile at me" Damon murmers, finding her hidden dimple and pecking it softly, smiling.

"And... I love..." Damon trails off, because he's looking into her eyes now, and nothing else in the world matters but her. Nothing in the world could compare to the feeling he has when she stares at him with those forgiving, warm eyes. All those years, he mocked Stefan for his need to feel human, because that was taken from them.

But truly, Damon needed humanity as much as he needed Elena to bring it out in him.

Damon fell into the heat of her eyes, seeing the best of himself inside of them, seeing his humanity.

He leaned closer to those lips, as she did so as well.

His humanity was so close, all he had to do was...

Their lips made contact.

Suddenly there was an uncovered rubble, the earth shook with fire and intensity and passion that knew no bounds, an eternal emotion. There was pain and happiness and greif and passion and love, love that rivaled no other. The fire spread through Elena's entire body as his lips barely brushed hers, and she felt like a flame, burning alive.

Damon tried to pull away, just a little bit, but he had already had a taste of temptation, of the forbidden fruit, he couldn't resist more.

Elena and Damon deepened the kiss, Elena, sitting up in her chair, putting incredible force on Damon's body, as if she wasn't close enough. Her hands lingered feebly at the side of his face, and desire pulsed through her and took inevitable control. Elena's hands began to claw their way up to Damon's hair, running her fingers through his incredibly soft, thick locks.

Damon had placed one of his hands on the small of Elena's back, one at her waist, but he impulsively wrapped his hands around her thighs and pulled her legs around his waist, standing himself upright with Elena everywhere around him. All Damon could see, breathe, _taste, _was Elena. She was everywhere, his heart, his thoughts, his soul, she always came to haunt him and mock him with what he would never have.

Elena opened her mouth in acceptance and passion, kissing him with an unidentifiable amount of eagerness. Her mouth moved furiously against his, roughly, running her tongue seductively along his bottom lip and nibbling on it playfully.

Damon pushed her against the wall, and although with force, she didn't feel a thing. The only thing she could feel was _Damon, _and the fact that she wanted more. Elena opened her mouth so Damon had full access.

Damon ran his tongue swiftly into Elena's mouth, intertwining his tongue with hers and tasting what Damon had always imagined heaven to be.

But with their happiness was a pain; the final pain of acceptance, that once dawn rose that the light would fill their dark world. Their world in which they, the king and queen of darkness, could capture and destroy, watching it burn along with all of their troubles and realize that they wouldn't rather be by anyone elses side to watch the world end.

Damon tasted like cinnamon, as Elena imagined, but she could taste the pain, and the lust, and the desolation that rolled off of Damon in waves.

Damon could taste Elena, and she tasted better than any blood could ever possibly taste. She tasted like the sweetest, finest chocolate that left a warmth and sweetness lingering in your mouth. But, she also tasted of betrayal, it stung through her and left a bitter aftertaste.

But Damon didn't mind.

And Elena didn't mind.

For once in their lives, they felt as if they belonged. They were left in a world in which no one understood their pain and sadness, their heartache and misery. They finally found someone who lit a fight, and passion, and happiness that had no counterpart.

So Elena groaned in accepting satisfaction, and ecstacy as Damon grinded against her, his lips moving in infuriatingly passionate synchronization with hers. Elena moved her hips along with him, her legs becoming even tighter as she tried and utterly failed at trying to minimize excitement. Eventually, she gave up and pulled Damon's hair towards the couch.

Without a second thought, Damon moved faster than even a vampire could, Elena's lips giving him an intense adrenaline rush, and laid her on the couch with frenzied lasciviousness. He pushed her into the couch cushions, her back arching with pleasure as another moan escaped her mouth, her neck pulling back in orgasmic exultation. Damon's mouth moved to Elena's neck, but the last thing on his mind was feeding. He nibbled on the flesh and grazed his tongue wildly across her skin. It wasn't enough, he needed more. He needed to feel her body against his, no clothing providing a barrier...

Elena couldn't stand it, she needed more, as well. She needed to _see _him. She didn't pull away from the kiss, but began to push the jacket off his broad shoulders. She let it fall to the ground with an ungraceful thud, then pulled herself on top of him, pushing Damon farther into the couch.

They were evenly matched, so it seemed. In the eternal fight for dominance, for love, they fought each other, loved each other, protected each other with an equality that took their breaths away.

Elena laid on top of him, rubbing her thighs madly along his waist, kissing him with an unearthed passion that had been sleeping her entire life.

Damon then took the opportunity to flip her upwards, wrapping her legs around his waist once again, and pushing her into the arm rest. Damon's mouth pulled away and he grazed his teeth over Elena's earlobe, making her shiver.

"Oh, god, Damon!"Elena whispered with rapture, her voice raw with emotion and love.

Damon felt Elena claw at the tank he was wearing, and he pulled it off himself quickly, watching Elena's eyes stare lustfully and lovingly at him.

Elena then felt excruciatingly hot in her clothes, looking at Damon, so she began with the sweater.

Damon, still struggling for the dominance he usually was given, ripped it off her shoulders, the seams tearing. Ripped down the middle, Elena was exposed to Damon, her white bra contrast to her olive skin, and Damon had never seen anything more angelic.

Damon looked at her, her innocent doe-eyes filled with a lust and love that knew no bounds. She bit her lip with insecurity, and Damon realized something that shattered his heart.

This was the end.

He had to stop.

He pulled away from her then, and walked towards the fireplace. Elena turned and looked at him with confusion etched in her features, confusion and a pain that lit when the realization of the end dawned on her.

Damon had breifly looked at her, her dissheveled appearance only enhancing her beauty. Her eyes shined with a fierce trepidation, her lips parted slightly, set in an unconscious pout.

"Damon," Elena breathed, her voice on the verge of a sob, "please, Damon, please. We can do this-"

Elena was stopped short when Damon's gaze caught hers again, and she knew they couldn't, they really couldn't.

"Elena... Elena you deserve my brother. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, nothing can change that," Damon walked over to her, gauging her reaction. He laid a gentle, cautious hand on her face, and she leaned into it as she sobbed. Damon used his other hand to gingerly wipe away her tears and continue, "tonight was... was more than I could ever ask for from you. Thank you, Elena"

"For what?" Elena bawled, "what do you have to thank me for-"

"For showing me that... that one day, one day, Elena, I might be worth your love. But not here, not now. One day..." He trailed off, leaving it to her to put it together.

"One day," Elena swore, "and I'll be ready for you, Damon"

Damon shook his head sadly, "no, no you won't. You'll be with Stefan."

Elena's eyes came up to him with a snap, as if being pulled from a reverie, a dream, "...what?"

"You love Stefan, Elena," Damon whispered, his heart breaking at the fact, "you love him, and he needs you. He needs you so badly, Elena."

"You do, too" Elena interjected stubbornly.

Damon allowed himself to crack a smile at how incredibly strong-willed she was, "You see it too, then. The fact that... that I'm only human when I'm around you... it's only you. You see that there is something between us, something that... we have both been denying for a very long time. Do you see it, Elena?" Damon brought Elena's hand to his face, so she was in the same position he was in. Her heart rate increased rapidly, "Do you feel it, Elena?"

Elena looked up to him, and offered him a nod and a rueful smile, "I always have, I was just too afraid to admit it to myself..."

"...send me a wedding invitation then? Maybe I could be the maid of honor?" Damon chuckled softly, allowing one tear to fall.

Damon kissed her hand, then laid a soft, gentle kiss on her lips, his final goodbye. Elena closed her eyes, and Damon's tears mixed with hers so that you could hardly tell which tears were their own.

"Goodbye, my Elena" Damon whispered against her lips.

The cool, unnatural air pushed Elena back, taking her breath away. And it was just like that...

Elena pulled herself onto the couch, a numbness spreading over her like a quilt that suffocated her, because nothing on earth truly mattered _enough _anymore. The opened door let in a draft that chilled Elena to the core, but the fire through her body scorched her, tore her up inside, until all that was left of her was ashes. The remains of a fire that was let loose, a fire that Elena had let take control of her...

Because he was gone.

* * *

**I know, right?**

**That took FOREVAH, but it was SO worth it to write it and have my friend who is also a passionate writer, be a part of the experience, it was wonderful.**

**How did you like it? What was the best part? Did you hate the end of the chapter? This isn't the ending of the story, just the chapter. Trust me, the ending I have worked SO incredibly hard on. I DO hope you enjoy the next chapters. We shall see a character who is one of my favorites, but I have oddly never written her in this fanfiction, not even a notice... hmmm...**

**Sheesh ya'll, Twas a FRACKING dream!**

**~Taylor (ChristmasonPancakes)**


	9. Flames to Dust

**Do I even need to say how extremely sorry I am? Is there any justification for... being so terrible? I am so sorry, though, I truly am. School has been... rough, to say the least. It's my freshman year, school is my number one priority at the moment. I am so sorry that I haven't updated in a month. I am SO sorry. Forgive me, find it in your souls to forgive me, please.**

* * *

The rain pelted Elena's skin, feeling like cold needles piercing her skull as she screamed for Stefan breathlessly. With another crack of lightning, Elena was allowed a quick moment of sight.

In the open field, almost flooded by water, Bonnie searched through Emily's grimoire frantically; her eyes alit with a genuine fear that tore Elena's hope to shreds. Stefan ran quickly, dodging the wolf that hunted him relentlessly. Caroline ran the distance of the field trying in vain to get the wolf's attention.

The wolf that happened to be working for the recently deceased Katherine.

Mason Lockwood, Tyler Lockwood's uncle.

Mason's eyes lit with a fire and intensity, an anger that knew no bounds. Neither Stefan, nor Elena had ever known that Mason was involved in the werewolf myth, and they hadn't known that Katherine had used him as well.

Stefan was hunting, he brought Elena along because he felt... something in the air. The dark cloud, looming over them, foreshadowing the night. The cold wind whipped Elena's hair back, and it smelled like death. Stefan claimed he should have known, he tried in vain to get Elena out of the field, but it was useless. Because the anger and vengeance filled Mason. Because Mason had his heart torn to shreds by the beast that was Katherine.

Katherine who had killed Caroline.

Unbeknown to Elena and Stefan, Caroline had been hidden in the underground Lockwood cellar and murdered by Katherine. Not after feeding her blood, first.

Caroline had resurfaced as a vampire, her heart broken by the fact that she would never move on, have the life she'd always dreamed of. When Elena and Stefan had found Caroline, Stefan had attempted to help Caroline, put her on the animal blood diet. Stefan then realized that he couldn't do that to her. He wouldn't force her to live the way that he did, so he gave her the choice.

Luckily for them, Caroline had never wanted to be a monster, a killer.

But Mason had.

And Elena and Stefan were caught under the dreadful white glare of their death.

The full moon.

Mason was a werewolf, and the numerous killings once a month, even _after _Damon left, should have given Stefan and Elena a clue towards that fact...

Damon...

Elena's mind lingered on him for a moment, allowing herself to sink into his dark arms and fall away from the world...

But Damon was gone. He had been gone for two months.

Two months in hell, for Elena.

Damon hadn't replied to her calls, her texts, her messages, her emails, almost as if he couldn't care less for her. The thought brought tears to Elena's eyes and you could almost hear the sound of her heart shattering. No, that wasn't her heart, it was something else. Ah, yes, another crack of thunder.

The rumbling growl that reminded Elena faintly of a lioness pulled Elena back, and she watched Stefan sprint across the field yet again, in a useless attempt to wear out Mason. Caroline rounded the field for what seemed to be the seventh time, trying desperately to gain Mason's attention. Caroline threw numerous things at the animal, cursing at it, screaming at it. She even ducked in and fed from it when it got dangerously close to Stefan.

"Not Stefan" Caroline would whisper.

Elena called for him again, "Stefan!' she shrieked, tears falling on her forearm.

Stefan lost momentum.

He looked towards Elena in a frenzy, forgetting Mason for a moment. Panic lit his eyes and he returned his gaze back to Mason.

But it was too late.

"No!" Caroline cried, Elena stunned to silence. The wolf pounced on Stefan, throwing him down to the ground with a force that shook Elena to her core. Caroline ran towards the wolf, and with a flip of the neck, Caroline was sent flying back, into the trees. The impact resulted in a deafening crack, the trees falling to the ground. Caroline was pierced in the leg by a branch, and tried in vain to remove it. Elena began to run towards Caroline, and as lightning tore through the night sky, Caroline screamed, "No! Stefan!"

Elena changed course immediately, running towards Stefan without fear. Mason was seemingly distracted by Stefan, but when Elena got close enough, the wolf turned, and with terribly great force, Elena was sent back. She hit the trees, her head slamming back and the impact leaving a ringing in her ears. She began to fade, blood falling onto her shirt, tangling in her brown, twisted locks.

As she faded, images flooded her brain, her last thoughts on earth...

_Blue eyes, so very blue, they were. It was odd, she noticed, that green wasn't flooding her vision, but it wasn't. She didn't know why she expected the eyes to be green, she didn't know anything. It was the most brilliant blue she'd seen in all her life, although she didn't remember where she'd seen that blue. It was all so very confusing, she didn't remember anything. The only thing she remembered was death, the beautiful blue of death..._

_And a smile; a white, teasing, genuine smile. Elena looked at the smile with great pleasure, her heart filling with warmth in the knowledge that only _she_ could regain that smile from the man, the blue-eyed man..._

_His dark arms circled around her, his darkness for her radiance, his angel, his only chance at redemption. But surely he was _her _angel, she couldn't possibly be his. She was the one who was taking her last breaths, she knew that. __She looked at the man, he was surely the most beautiful creature she had ever seen. His hair, dark as raven's wings, fell carelessly in front of his eyes. Elena didn't like that, she wanted to see that blue again. Elena felt the pain rush into her arm as she tried to raise her arm, but she paid it no mind, she lifted her hand that she would have rather bitten off than endured the pain in, and pushed his dark hair away from his eyes._

_But she had soon realized why he had hidden his glorious eyes._

_He was crying._

_No, Elena thought, this angel should not cry. Angels should not cry. She wouldn't let his beauty and pleasure be tainted by her death. She was _only _dying! She would not allow him to cry any longer, she wiped his tears from his cheeks, her fingertips lingering softly on the jaw-line. He grabbed her hand softly, tears continuing to fall, and the next move he made, Elena felt the familiarity of rush into her._

_It was almost painful, but she couldn't have asked for anything more._

_He brought her miraculously healed hand to his mouth, and swept his lips across it, if only for a moment. His lips... they were something else. Intoxicating, poisonous, curiously soft. They were like silk, smooth and fine, and warm. So very warm... _

_The angel flipped her hand to her palm, and applied only the slightest amount of pressure with his lips, if not more than the impact of a rose petal. His tears fell onto her hand, and her hand began to heal. He never broke the eye-contact, Elena would not have allowed him to._

_A name bubbled from the depths of her heart, her soul, and she felt it rise and rise until she could no longer contain it._

_"Damon" she croaked. _

_The man in her vision smiled victoriously, he was glowing now. Quite literally, he was glowing. His illumination showed what brought Elena the only happiness her injured heart could bear._

_She had redeemed him._

_The smallest crack of a smile fell on Elena's face, and she laughed, though doing so hurt her injured ribs._

_"Elena" the man, Damon, whispered. He looked beautiful, stunning, excruciatingly delightful. He was at peace, and so was she, "you're dying"_

_Though she did not know _how, _she whispered, "I know" in reply._

_"And you're bleeding to death," His voice was like the most extravagant music, like a slow and sultry waltz, and just listening to him speak brought Elena the most intoxication feeling of... drunkenness than she had ever endured in her life-time._

_"Yes." _

_"And you don't mind" Damon breathed, although it sounded like more of a statement than a question. He swallowed, then turned his face away._

_Elena didn't appreciate that._

_She brought her hands up to his face, she felt no agony with the movement, only numbness. No, not numbness, detachement. Because her angel, her Damon, was the only thing she needed to move on, her body meant nothing to her if she couldn't have him with it._

_They were one, Elena decided with certainty, they were one soul, one body, and all her anger at him that had came rather quickly had faded away, because he wasn't angry. She could feel it, his aura burning brightly, scorching Elena._

_Damon looked at her with panic, looked down suddenly and flinched. Elena tore her gaze from his eyes that seemed to show only Elena his true feelings, and turned her gaze knowingly to his mouth. To his teeth, to be exact. _

_His fangs had descended, he looked at her, not only with a blood lust, but with a savory amount of love and devotion, of guilt and pleasure and anger, and he tried in vain to pull them back. His eyes shut in shame and Elena lightly traced Damon's lips with her finger. Damon opened his eyes again, showing vulnerability that knew no bounds, and Elena was smiling at him._

_"Yes" she whispered, "Yes"_

_Damon shook his head viciously, "you're the one I swore to never harm, to never hurt-" His voice rumbled._

_"Damon" Elena cracked on a sob, "please. I am willing, I am loving."_

_Damon looked to her as she paused and drew in a breath._

_"I am yours" Elena whispered with devotion, her heart and voice ringing like a devine bell above all the madness that had broken into Damon and Elena's internal room._

_As Elena said this, Damon had never been more sure of her than in that moment, because he knew it too. She was his, he was hers, they were meant to be that way. And as Elena arched back slowly, falling into Damon's arms, Damon closed in on her outstretched neck..._

"Breathe! God damn it, Elena, breathe! Please, no, no, no! Y-you're losing too much, no!" an outside voice roared in agony.

_Damon, her angel, her devil, kissed her neck lightly, to show that it was not only a donation, that his motivations were the pure and never-ending love that had driven him mad. It had driven Elena mad too..._

"Wake up!" the man screaming from the outside world choked, "please, I can't- I can't lose you, just wake up! For me!"

_But Elena was so _warm, _she never wanted to leave. She wanted to be with Damon forever..._

"It's me, it's me!" The man's voice boomed with a sudden jolt of familiarity, "It's your Damon, I'm out here, Elena, I'm waiting for you! I am yours!"

_Damon, while holding Elena, evaporated into the air, and Elena screamed with a heart-wrenching fury that nearly knocked her breathless, but she realized..._

_Damon was still waiting. She wouldn't leave him waiting..._

"Wake up! Elena, oh God, dear God," Damon began to, for the first time in a millenium, pray, "God, wake her up! Bring her back, I swear if you don't..." did it still count as worship if you threatened God?

Okay, well Damon hadn't completely understood the concept of praying, but he was doing the best he could. The closest he had ever been to heaven was being taken away, he wouldn't let her go. But he wouldn't damn her, it had to be her decision...

Elena gasped, as if resurfacing from a bucket of ice-cold water, and collapsed in a bloody, crying heap into Damon's arms. But not from sadness, not from anger, from the purest of happiness.

Because he came back.

Because he came home.

Damon cried again, he sobbed and sobbed into her hair and pulled her bloody torso onto his lap, as the rain cascaded on both of their bodies and washed away the war that had taken place in the field.

Elena returned her attention to the rest of the field, Damon dearly afraid of what he would find there.

Bonnie stood in the middle of the clearing, reciting Latin in cruel uprisings and furious decrescendos, with Caroline kneeling on the ground, trying desperately to give a fallen figure what looked to be a bad imitation of CPR.

Damon and Elena watched in silence, knowing that... that it was over before it had begun. The man would never return to them, he would never flash another warm smile at them, he would never offer an understanding and reliable shoulder to cry on.

Because Stefan was gone.

And with that last thought, and the blood pounding in her ears, Elena fell into blackness.

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**I hope that chapter was worth my cruel behavior. I am so SO very sorry, and nothing that I do will take away from that. **

**I love all my readers dearly, thank you for your devotion and reliability to my story.**

**Sheesh ya'll, twas a nightmare (because Taylor had her computer taken away by her idiot mother)**

**- Taylor (ChristmasonPancakes)**


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